Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. Some believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. Others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #homes #fear #crime #believe #actions

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The popularity of atrocity today has made people stay indoors for self-protection.

While

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it is a common belief that reducing the felony rate is a nearly impossible mission, I hold the view that there are certain measures that can convert the world into a safer place to live in. On the one hand, many people argue that in

such

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a current era of moral decadence, any attempts to prevent breach would turn out to be a failure. Poverty and unemployment are considered chief precursors to law violation, and only when these two social issues are eliminated will atrocity disappear.

However

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, it is true that a society can only provide a limited number of jobs for its residents, and those who are not lucky enough to receive a good education from childhood would find it difficult to pursue a career to make ends meet.

Such

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individuals lack both skills and orientation and from their perspective, becoming a thief might be a better way to survive compared to unstably living on governmental subsidies or performing menial work. It seems that the root of

this

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problem cannot be solved completely, and

this

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is why how to halt law-breaking may remain an insurmountable question for the government.

On the other hand

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, I am of the opinion that there are still solutions to maintain criminal justice. It is worth mentioning first that, stricter sets of laws are required, and the penalties should correspond to the severity of the wrongdoings. In a variety of countries,

such

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as the United Kingdom or Italy, capital punishment has been abandoned; but I believe it should be reintroduced as the fear of death may deter potential offenders and stop them from committing serious crimes.

Secondly

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, the government should encourage companies and organizations to expand and run more projects. These actions create jobs;

therefore

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, those who live under the poverty line not only do not have to become pickpockets or burglars for survival but

also

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stand a chance to earn a living with their own clean money. In conclusion, I believe that the aforementioned measures can create more peaceful communities and ensure the safety of the residents.

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing the points more coherently and aligning them with the task requirements.

task achievement

Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task and provides clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant specific examples.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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Many people are afraid to leave their homes because of the fear of crime. Some believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. Others feel that little can be done. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many schools today require students to work without pay for companies as part of their education. Is this more advantageous to students or companies?

It is said that travel broadens the mind. What can we learn by travelling to other countries? Should we first explore our own countries? What do you think?

The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up to date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?