It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the modern epoch, the issue of taking
has always been a matter of public interest, no matter it is in the career or daily life. In my opinion, the merits of making ambitious moves always outweigh the drawbacks.
essay will explain why from my viewpoint and experience.
, there are several benefits if you are willing to take dangers, the most important one is it will allow you more possibilities. Because there are many moves that are accompanied by unknown
in our life, If you don't take
you are going to struggle
at the first stage
For instance
I knew there were numerous difficulties and obstacles, I still set up my mind to study abroad,
I had really precious experience and knowledge during the two overseas years.
, it is a rule on the capital market that the higher
you take, the more value it will return,
for example
, the people who took huge
to buy Bitcoin ten years ago become millionaires now. The two examples strongly demonstrate my viewpoint that making risky moves will gain a lot.
, the flaws of taking the uncertainty too high are serious, mental diseases are the most common problem,
as insomnia and anxiety. because when your mind is not strong enough to take
, you won't be able to stop thinking about what will happen if you fail. A relevant example is it is reported that many investors of digital currencies have the problem of insomnia, the professionals diagnosed that the reason is the high uncertainty of investing in crypto. In conclusion, taking
may lead to some mental health issues if you aren't aware, but it can give you more possibilities and more returns.
Submitted by steven057770 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
While the essay is logically structured, there is room for improvement. Try to make the transitions between ideas smoother and more natural to enhance the flow and coherence of your arguments.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and appropriate, but they could potentially be more impactful. The introduction could better set the stage for your argument, and the conclusion could provide a stronger closing to your points.
Task Achievement
The points made in your essay are supported by relevant examples, indicating good task achievement. However, try to ensure that each paragraph's main point is explicitly stated to drive your argument clearly.
Task Response
The essay provided a complete response to the task. However, your argument could be more nuanced. Try to address the complexities of the issue by including multiple perspectives in your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
Look at other essays: