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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In recent years, the discourse surrounding the most beneficial
progress
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 plan for countries has garnered considerable attention, prompting a plethora of viewpoints among policymakers, the government, and the general populace. Many nations endeavour to reach significant
progress
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 in all governmental aspects to optimize their revenues. Proponents suggest that economic
progress
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 offers numerous advantages,
while
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 opponents contend that another opinion exists. In my firm conviction, I believe that policymakers must navigate both perspectives before postulating a definitive conclusion and should rely solely on the available resources. To commence, proponents suggest that the
economy
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 is the most crucial part of a governmental plan; it could lead to substantial advancement.
For instance
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, nations that have spectacular funding foster innovation and have better opportunities to thrive. Japan is a great example of
this
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, continuing to develop its
economy
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 in recent decades, leading to substantial technological advancements that were previously unattainable.
Furthermore
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, advocates may assert that the
progress
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 of the
economy
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 will improve individuals' quality of life. Surveys show a significant correlation between personal satisfaction and net income. A robust governmental
economy
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 will undoubtedly create jobs and vocations, which will be reflected in people's happiness and
overall
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 satisfaction.
Conversely
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, opponents may propose that the impact of the
economy
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 on the nation is not the only factor. They highlight the potential pitfalls,
such
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 as exacerbated mental health problems and social disparities. Many suicidal attempts have been observed
among
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in
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 advanced countries,
according to
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 a health report published in 2010.
Furthermore
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,
such
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 economic advancement can create social disparities, making a huge division between social classes. In conclusion, the debate surrounding the best approach to enhance the community is multifaceted, encompassing both advantages and disadvantages. Indeed, the government must address these complexities wisely to optimize the
overall
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 benefit.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that main points are evenly developed. In this essay, the economic argument is well-explored, but the alternative view could be expanded with more examples and detailed analysis of other progress types.
Task Achievement
Focus on strengthening the development and examples given for the argument that other types of progress are important. This can add depth to your discussion and showcase a fully balanced perspective.
Task Achievement
Develop ideas with more comprehensive explanations. A greater depth of analysis will demonstrate a more thorough understanding of both views and your opinion.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly presents both views and concludes with a personal opinion, illustrating a balanced discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively included, providing a clear framework for the discussion.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as Japan's technological advancement, provides concrete evidence to support the points made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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