IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is better for student to study from home rather than go to school. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#student #study #home #school
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The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 think that studying at home is better than going to
school
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.
This
Linking Words
 writer disagrees with
this
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 statement and will explain why in the essay below.
Firstly
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, it can be seen that all
children
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 in over the world have to go to
school
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 when they are 6.
This
Linking Words
 rule is published by the Government and
people
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 must do it in order to increase the education for
children
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 and help them to have knowledge.
Secondly
Linking Words
, teachers at
school
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 have abilities to help students gain knowledge. It can be observed that before becoming a teacher,
people
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 have to pass a lot of testsmoreoverthey have to have some quality responsibility, love their job and so on. So we can easily recognize that when students go to
school
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 they can easily
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
gain
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 than study at home.
Thirdly
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, going to
school
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 helps
children
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 to avoid
illiteracy
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 . In Vietnam, in the past,
people
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 did not go to
school
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 so the result was
illiteracy
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and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they found it difficult with news from another place so some patriots opened classes for all ages to cut off
illiteracy
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. Thanks to
this
Linking Words
, our country had a lot of
talents
Fix the agreement mistake
talent
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 led to the development of Vietnam a lot. In conclusion, going to
school
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 is very crucial and necessary for
children
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 all over the world. It helps
children
Use synonyms
 to become talented and avoid
illiteracy
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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