Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is commonly seen that kids take more time on their mobile phones, and

while

Linking Words

some people argue that

this

Linking Words

behaviour could have some benefits for kids, I firmly believe that it is harmful to the young generation and that they should limit their time on cell phones. In

further

Linking Words

paraphrases, the main causes of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon and my personal opinions will be highlighted. There are two main reasons causing the young are addicted to phones.

Firstly

Linking Words

, gaming is a virtual world where they can become whomever they want, which can not only offer them excitement but

also

Linking Words

fulfil their imagination.

Secondly

Linking Words

, emotional connection is an essential need for kids, using

smartphones

Use synonyms

can allow them to communicate and share interesting things anytime and anywhere,

such

Linking Words

as through phone calls, social media and communication applications, resulting in addiction to

smartphones

Use synonyms

. In my opinion,

it is clear that

Linking Words

using

smartphones

Use synonyms

is a significantly negative development for children.

This

Linking Words

hobby harms the young generation both mentally and physically.

For instance

Linking Words

, sitting and staring at the monitors for too long a time,

making

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

young people suffer from some diseases.

According to

Linking Words

a recent survey in my country, over 90% of elementary school students have been diagnosed with eye illness.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the comparisons between peers have become

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

competition in their daily lives, leading to massively psychological pressure for teenagers and resulting in some severe mental disorders,

such

Linking Words

as anxiety disorder, depression and bipolar disorder, which has become one of the biggest modern issues. From my experience, when I saw friends posting their luxurious lives on social media, I felt nervous and doubted myself. In conclusion,

due to

Linking Words

the sense of fulfilment from mobile games and the need for connection,

smartphones

Use synonyms

give children happiness but harm them as well.Some children spend hours every day on their

smartphones

Use synonyms

vincent3725416Thu Nov 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

The essay has sound logical structure but chaining of ideas can be improved. The formulation of complex ideas could be more synchronised to enhance comprehension.

coherence cohesion

Congratulations! You've done an excellent job in presenting both the introduction and conclusion. They are clear and render the meaning of the essay perfectly. Keep up the good work.

coherence cohesion

Although main points are generally supported, you could provide more concrete examples and deepen your arguments to increase their significance.

task achievement

Great job responding to the task! You have addressed every part of the task appropriately. Moreover, you have also given your clear stand about the topic. However, remember to always keep a balance in discussing both sides of the argument.

task achievement

Ideas are on the right track and largely comprehensive, but some are slightly unclear, mostly because sentences are a bit too complicated. Try to simplify your sentences to increase comprehension.

task achievement

The examples you provided are pertinent and meaningful, but can be more specific, comprehensive, and detailed to strengthen your argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?
Parenting is challenging for parents, especially amateur couples who have their first child. Some individuals believe that taking parenting courses should be mandatory for parents. In my opinion, I mostly agree with this statement because taking part in child rearing classes is beneficial although working couples may be unable to afford to attend the classes.
8
band
It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
Many nations have been facing an issue of low enrolment rates in science. This is because the science-related subjects themselves are considered hard-to-achieve ones, and promotions of the learning outcomes of such majors tend to be insufficient. If this situation persists, society will not be able to advance its development ladder.
6.5
band
The maintenance of public libraries is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a prevailing belief that it's pointless to maintain public libraries since modern technology has rendered them obsolete in recent years. Personally, I disagree with this view because, even though e-libraries can be advantageous in some ways, I believe that they can never replace traditional libraries for a number of reasons.
6
band
In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children at home instead of sending their children to school. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development.
Traditional education is sometimes not suitable for children who have different interpersonal skills which lead parents to start educating them at home. It is true that educating children at houses becoming popular nowadays in many countries around the world. There are definitely positive and negative aspects to teaching youngsters in residences to be considered.
7
band
Social Media such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram has changed the lifestyle of people. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?
Nowadays, there is no secret that technology has revolutionized every aspect of our life. In today’s climate, the issue of social media has become a controversial minefield. While it is rational to accept that using social media can sometimes have a negative effect, it seems that they are more likely to bring benefits.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

The maintenance of public libraries is a waste of money because of computer technologies that have the same function. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children at home instead of sending their children to school. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development.

Social Media such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram has changed the lifestyle of people. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?