People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is an argument that individuals need to take care of themselves for their own good.

However

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, some believe that being healthy is a responsibility to society. I believe that people need to stay healthy not only for themselves but

also

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for society and in the following paragraph, I am going to explain both points of view. First and foremost, maintaining a healthy body needs to have great living habits

such

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as controlling the diet and doing daily sports. If a person wants to enjoy their life in the future,

then

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, he or she needs to have a regular lifestyle.

Besides

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, people who have dreams to accomplish must always take care of themselves. To explain, it is too difficult to accomplish a goal if the person does not have the power or always needs to go to a hospital.

Secondly

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, taking care of yourself is a personal responsibility for

Correct article usage

the

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public. Many countries face medical shortage problems,

thus

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, not all patients can be cured by doctors.

That is

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to say, a person needs to have a good lifestyle, so they may not waste a nation’s medical appliances.

Furthermore

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, these medical resources need to be given to those patients who have critical diseases

such

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as cancer. In conclusion, dreaming and staying longer have a chance to succeed if he or she does not have health issues.

In addition

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, everyone needs to stay physically and psychologically well in order to prevent a country’s shortage of resources in hospitals and provide a great opportunity for those critical illness patients.

Overall

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, physical and psychological well is for personal goods and for society.

Submitted by annie5342586 on Sun Aug 27 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

duty
well-being
burden
healthcare systems
productive
economy
example
empower
informed choices

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People should look after their health as a duty to the society where they live, rather than for their own benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People are starting to think that the idea of having a single career is an old fashioned one and that having several part-time jobs is better. Do the benefits outweigh the disadvantage?

In today's world , many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages .

With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some say that the best way to improve public health is by Increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this will have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion

You have just rented an unfurnished flat and a friend has told you that the opportunity shop is the shopping centre has cheap secondhand furniture. Write to the shop, owner, describing what you need and asking whether they have this items and what they cost.