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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct. There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

#process #species #reason #people
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In recent years, the disappearance of a myriad of
animals
Use synonyms
 has become a serious problem for human beings, which soon will lead to a lack of food and resources.
While
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 there are a number of notions believing that our community must protect the animal
species
Use synonyms
 from extinction, other views think that there is no need to take any action because it is a natural process. In my point of view, I strongly agree with the former rather than the latter.
Firstly
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, despite the fact that most of the ancient
animals
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 were all extinct
due to
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 the cause volcanic eruption, there
are
Wrong verb form
were
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numerous
species
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Correct pronoun usage
that
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became rarer and decreased
the
Correct article usage
apply
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population significantly in humans. Take the
rhinos
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 as an example, In the past,
people
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 believed that rhino horns could work as a great medicine that would cure humans of many diseases
such
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 as cancer, lungs and so on,
although
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 in ,reality these horns had a similar composition which was coming from the human nails.
However
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, in spite of scientists having proved it as a truth, many
people
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 are still addicted to hunting down
rhinos
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 for their horns. The implication of
this
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 was the dramatic decrease in the rhino population, which led
rhinos
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 to the endangered
species
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 list. For years, not only
rhinos
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 but, there were
also
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 plenty of
animals
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 that have already become extinct, of ,course human beings are the main reason for
this
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 and it is critical for us to take responsibility for their disappearances. Viewed from different sides,
according to
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 research,
due to
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 the immediate change of a particular habitat, a multitude of
species
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 suffer and die rapidly because of not being able to adapt to the new environment.
Moreover
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, a natural food cycle could
also
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 lead to the disappearance of an animal. On second thought, these are just rare situations, that mostly never happen. The fact that our development has affected noticeably to the mother of nature.
For example
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, transportation releases gas, which pollutes the air,
besides
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,
people
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 throw plastic into rivers and oceans leading to the death of marine
species
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.
Thus
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, nowadays, many
people
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 hunt
animals
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 down for entertainment or to make money from their skins, meats and so on. In conclusion,
although
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animals
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 might be dead
due to
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 their change of habitats, it is crucial for humanity to take action as soon as possible to protect these
species
Use synonyms
 from their disappearances.
Submitted by nghi.bella.phan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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