Many people believe that reducing obesity is due to educating people, while others argue that education does not work. Discuss both points and give your opinion?

#people #obesity #education #work #points

It is true that there are some debates about the topic that

obesity

can be reduced when

people

tend to be educated,

whereas

other advocates hold

Correct article usage

the

show examples

view that education can not mitigate

obesity

. To my mind, I agree with the idea that decreasing fatness can be taught. On the one hand, the trend toward teaching citizens about being overweight can not change the scenario because of the following reasons. First and foremost, with the fast pace of life and busy schedules, the number of

people

who depend on eating instant

food

or outgoing rather than preparing home meals is increasing dramatically.

For example

, there are numerous convenience stores and takeaway

food

nowadays

such

as Circle K or BurgerKing,

thus

, inhabitants have a variety of choices to eat

instead

of cooking at home.

Moreover

, there are plenty of

people

who are not aware of the harmful ingredients of fast

food

Therefore

, some individuals think that the younger generation nowadays become heavy.

On the other hand

, other

people

, myself included, totally agree that it is better for dwellers should be trained on how to narrow their weight. The first benefit is that the more

people

learn typical knowledge of nutrition and cooking safety, the more we can study how artificial

food

coloring

Change the spelling

colouring

show examples

and sweeteners in junk

food

have a detrimental effect on our health.

As a result

, several individuals would have the competence to distinguish

food

that lacks freshness.

Additionally

, a great deal of inhabitants improving their comprehension of health-related issues may have a positive method on healthy habits.

As a consequence

people

will use fewer ingredients that contain high levels of fat and sugar and do more exercise or try to prepare some meals at home.

This

will lead to many

people

knowing the ways to prevent from being

obesity

. In conclusion,

while

there are some different beliefs about whether studying could aid in turning down

obesity

, from my perspective view, I come to terms with being overweight can be decreased by schooling.

Submitted by alex.vu031002 on Sun Aug 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

333 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Whilst a group of individuals contend the notion that promoting the members of the rising generation to an executive role in government organizations would not be a prudent decision to make, others take an adverse approach which supports the delegation of high-level positions to the young people. To the best of my knowledge and experience, having young minds pondering on the challenges of today's society can accelerate the advancement of technology, human welfare and education, therefore, I also resonate with the idea of hiring younger people for senior governmental positions.
7.5
band
It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.
Due to the advancement in medicine, life expectancy has considerably increased in many parts of the world. It is predicted that the number of old people will rise in the near future. It is admitted that older people can bring benefits to the public. However, it may be an unfavourable change overall.
8.5
band
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
There are some examples that some criminals serving sentences in prison reintegrating into society successfully to become good citizens, which makes some people realize that they are the best candidates for teenagers to be conscious of the dangers of committing crimes. It seems to me that this could be feasible to discourage the young generation from violating laws.
5.5
band
Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four years. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
since medical treatments have progressed, many people expect to live longer than before. Although there may be some positive consequences of this trend, I believe it is more harmful.
<4
band
nowadays, many people cannot read or write. What problems does this cause? What measures can governments take to solve these problems?
The importance of education is it, make us to read and write for the betterment of the one who want to achive their goals.In rular area the biggest cause of proble is no education becuase of that many people are still unable to read and write.

Many people believe that reducing obesity is due to educating people, while others argue that education does not work. Discuss both points and give your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that younger people are not suitable for important positions in government. Others think that it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Recent advances in medicine have resulted in an increase in life expectancy over the past four years. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

nowadays, many people cannot read or write. What problems does this cause? What measures can governments take to solve these problems?