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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that it’s important to have a lot of money to be happy. To what extent do you agree with this statement? What other things can make you happy?

#people #it’s #money
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Nowadays, all over the world, many
people
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 are discussing the topic of being happy.
While
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 some
people
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 think there are
advantages
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 of having
money
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 to be happy, other
people
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 think that
advantages
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 of other things
also
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 exist. From my point of view, I think the first perspective is the most persuasive, for the reasons discussed below.
Firstly
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, as far as
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money making
Add a hyphen
money-making
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 you happy is concerned, to a large extent, no matter when, in both developed and developing countries, you can afford whatever you want ,
due to
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 the fact that you are wealthy, resulting in an increase in happiness.
For example
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, new cars can make you happy.
In addition
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, and most importantly, when you are an adult or a worker, you always need
money
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 to be comfortable, on account of the fact that you need a good house or good clothes, leading to a comfortable life.
On the other hand
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, in my opinion,
advantages
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 of other things
also
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 exist.
To begin
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 with, at least to some degree, no matter where you live in the world, you might fall in love,
due to
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 the reason that it is the most important thing in life for some
people
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, resulting in,
for example
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, a wedding.
Moreover
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, and most importantly for me, all through your life, you should look after your health, in order to live longer and avoid illness, with the result that you can
whatever
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do whatever
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 you want, leading to
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 mentality. In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 think there are
advantages
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 of having
money
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 to be happy, others hold a different opinion.
However
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, in my opinion, I think the first perspective is the most persuasive, to some extent, for the abovementioned, reasons.
Submitted by tony.vantroo on

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