Government should focus on spending on public services rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #focus #services #arts #music

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Many governments do not want to spend the money and prefer to upgrade the public service for their

citizens

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. I completely disagree with

this

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opinion because the

government

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should facilitate every talent which their

citizens

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have and

also

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the talent they have can promote the

country

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if they have a unique skill.

This

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essay will explore the topic above and give a rational conclusion.

Firstly

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, It is well known that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

everyone is born with different talents which not only fulfil the needs of the

people

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but

also

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entertain each other. To develop their skills the

citizens

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need an adequate facility which can be provided by the

government

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For example

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in Indonesia, there are a lot of really talented painters but they cannot access global exhibitions

due to

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insufficient capital to reach them.

In other words

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, decisions to not give attention to the artists will make some of their

people

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become useless which causes injustice because they can not show their creations which can impact their wealth. The other reason that I disagree is because they can promote the nation if the development of the internet can reach anyone without borders. The unique music or paintings which are the culture of the

country

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can attract the attention of

people

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from other nations.

This

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means that the nation can be a global highlight, and because of

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it,

show examples

there are many benefits that the

government

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can reach

such

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as visitors to learn more about the uniqueness of a

country

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For instance

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, Korea has been successful in developing their film and music in their

country

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and because of the development, there are many

people

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interested in going to Korea for holiday or study because the

people

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in other countries

due to

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their work describe the culture of their nation. In Conclusion, facilitating arts gives the

government

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more income, promotes the

country

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and

also

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helps to give prosperity to some

citizens

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. Proper to one aspect is not a responsibility action which can affect some artists who have talent in art.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Tue Oct 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay should include more structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences to enhance the logical structure.

task achievement

Including a brief counterargument can help in providing a more balanced view of the topic.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the writer's position, which is maintained throughout the essay.

task achievement

The essay effectively uses specific examples, such as the mention of Indonesia and Korea, to support the main points.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

335 words

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Government should focus on spending on public services rather than on arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driver less. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driver less vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, people are becoming more and more interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

In many countries, people have health problems because they choose to live in unhealthy ways. what do you think the reasons for this and how can it be solved?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing.Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?