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Writing Samples
Band 7

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

#art #part #society #expression #culture #children #focus #subjects
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It is certain that
art
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 plays an essential role in our lives, especially in human development, in terms of communication and culture. In my opinion,
art
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 is crucial in
children’s
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 education but should be accompanied by other subjects to optimize all of their potential. I am convinced that there are a variety of reasons why
art
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 is crucial for
children’s
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 education. One reason is that
art
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 not only helps grow human mindsets but
also
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 provides them with good mental health, which would in turn enrich people’s inner souls. Specifically, getting involved in
art
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 and
art
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 creation from a young age will build up creativity and confidence in students
as well as
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 discover their potential. At the same time, getting exposed to painting, playing musical instruments or singing
also
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 plays a role as a means of entertainment. It helps them release their stress, recharge and indulge themselves after exhausting studying time.
However
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, it is true that children should not only focus on
art
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 but they should
also
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 pay attention to other critical subjects
such
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 as math, physicals or science to help them fully develop in all aspects.
Firstly
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, academic equipment will establish the fundamentals for students and develop their thinking and analyzing in daily life.
Therefore
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, children can unlock their potential both logically and artistically.
Secondly
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, I
also
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 believe that relying on
art
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 solely makes it hard for children to make ends meet in the future, especially in today’s competitive job market. In fact, some
art
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-related occupations are not fairly appreciated in our society and some artists are still struggling financially
such
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 as rappers, dancers, graffiti painters or street creators and unluckily, not many of them really get a reputation or are wealthy. In conclusion,
art
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 plays an integral part in
children’s
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 education but balancing other subjects
together with
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art
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 is the most optimal way to ensure
children’s
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 full development nowadays.
Submitted by trungkien.ktdn.nt on

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Task Response
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the question and provides a clear opinion. Support your points with relevant examples and evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure overall, but ensure that your ideas are presented in a more organized and connected manner. Use linking words and transition signals to enhance coherence.
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