IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The internet is a great course of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information reliable on the internet? What could be done to control information online?

#internet #course #information #opportunities #people #world #control
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The
World
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 Wide
Web
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 or
Internet
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 has indeed proposed newer and interesting ways of learning and brought a number of significant advancements all around the
world
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. It is argued if one should rely on all
web
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information
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 and whether something can be done to mitigate unnecessary or excess online data or news.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 issue with supportive points.
Firstly
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, the
Internet
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 is a confounding scientific invention and it has resulted in a global
world
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.
This
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 means,
people
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 from different countries are able to connect with each other and it is easier nowadays to spread news or gather
information
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.
However
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, it is
also
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 true that all applications, social sites and
web
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 pages are not trustworthy. Interestingly, social networking sites
also
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 a number of times spread rumours.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 with the wrong mindset use the
internet
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 to give wrong advice to fool
people
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 and earn money by chasing their data.
Next,
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regarding how to monitor online
information
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. Fortunately, in many countries, the government has now taken steps to control online
information
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 and started a cyber crime unit as the number of online frauds increased in the past years.
However
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,
people
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 still do not want to take action against
web
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 crime as it looks impossible time-consuming and laborious for them.
Therefore
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 it is required to educate
people
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 and young children in schools about the appropriate usage of
Internet
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 applications and other services and how to identify or take caution against false stories.
To sum up
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, the
Internet
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 is an excellent resource of varied knowledge and data from all around places in the
world
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.
Nevertheless
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, it does not require any verification to post online content,
hence
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 it is easy to mislead
people
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 with wrong
information
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. As per the aforementioned suggestion, authorities can strategise online activity.
Submitted by sonyasharma01 on

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task response
The essay does not fully respond to the task, as it does not sufficiently explore the issue of reliability of online information and only briefly touches on the topic of controlling online information. The essay should provide a more in-depth analysis of both aspects of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks clarity and does not effectively set up the main points of the essay. Additionally, the conclusion is abrupt and does not provide a summary or final analysis of the topic. Work on providing a clearer introduction and a more effective conclusion to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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