IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
#show #temperatures #hours #sunshine #year #three #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph demonstrates the mean
temperature
Use synonyms
 during the month and the table represents the mean number of sunny
hours
Use synonyms
 in three different cities
such
Linking Words
 as
London
Use synonyms
, New
York
Use synonyms
 and Sydney. It is interesting to notice that the
temperature
Use synonyms
 trend in
London
Use synonyms
 almost repeats the one in New
York
Use synonyms
. At the same ,time Sydney’s line graph shows a completely opposite trend with the lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
 in July,
whereas
Linking Words
 it’s the hottest month in the two other cities. Regarding the average climate in New
York
Use synonyms
, January is the coldest month of the year with approximately 4
degrees
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 the
temperature
Use synonyms
 continued rising steadily until it reached its peak in July at almost 30
degrees
Use synonyms
.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, we can observe that the heat started to decline constantly from July until December for both cities,
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
, ending at 10
degrees
Use synonyms
 and 5
degrees
Use synonyms
 respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to New
York
Use synonyms
’s
temperature
Use synonyms
, January and December are the hottest ones, over a given time period, almost reaching 25
degrees
Use synonyms
. Turning to details, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 started to decrease from January to July, ending with about 15
degrees
Use synonyms
. As we can observe from the table, New
York
Use synonyms
 ended up with the highest score for sunshine
hours
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
London
Use synonyms
 got the lowest score with only 1180 annual
hours
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that despite the fact that the
temperature
Use synonyms
 trends of New
York
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
 look familiar,
London
Use synonyms
 resulted in the least number of sunshine
hours
Use synonyms
 throughout the year.
Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Contractions: Don't use contractions.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, hours, london, york, degrees with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: