one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy

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Nowadays, the majority of the community feels cheerful about the development of the medical

care

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system and the fact that quality of

life

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and

life

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expectancy

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could be improved.

By contrast

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, some people are terrified by the fact that improvement in medical

care

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could cause overpopulation and a lack of resources. But there are both positives and negatives of

this

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situation. And ,

lastly

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this

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,essay I will describe both sides and write a conclusion. One of the biggest advantages is that improved medical

care

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would cause an increase in

life

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quality.

For instance

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, with the development of technology scientists came up with new cures for diseases that were impossible to treat not long ago. Another advantage is that increased

life

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expectancy

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will make people happier as grandparents would have more time to spend time with their grandchildren and Sheri their

life

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experience.

On the other hand

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, increased

life

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expectancy

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may cause overpopulation on Earth and soon a shortage of resources. Taking into account the fact that scientists already announced that freshwater resources will come to an end in the coming decades.

Secondly

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, with the increase in

life

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expectancy

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government will

also

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expand the retirement age. What I mean by

this

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is that people will still work for the biggest part of their lives. In conclusion, the improvement of medical

care

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has both, advantages and disadvantages. Whether the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages, we will find out in the near future. I believe that

such

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scientific breakthroughs will definitely benefit the population despite the difficulties.

Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on Tue Aug 29 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion on the topic.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of improved medical care, but the introduction and conclusion could be improved to fully address the task prompt. It's also important to provide specific examples to support the main points and ideas presented in the essay to achieve a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

consequences
improved medical care
life expectancy
advantages
disadvantages
healthcare
quality of life
population
economic burden
elderly
dependency
technology
ethical concerns

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one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people، however, ، think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

task 2: in some countries, young people have become richer, healthier anf live longer, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

Life has become much more stressful compared to our parent’s generation. As a result, stress-related illnesses are increasing around the world. What are the causes of stress among young adults and what do you think can be done to overcome this problem?

Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?