one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy

Nowadays, the majority of the community feels cheerful about the development of the medical

care

system and the fact that quality of

life

and

life

expectancy

could be improved.

By contrast

, some people are terrified by the fact that improvement in medical

care

could cause overpopulation and a lack of resources. But there are both positives and negatives of

this

situation. And ,

lastly

this

,essay I will describe both sides and write a conclusion. One of the biggest advantages is that improved medical

care

would cause an increase in

life

quality.

For instance

, with the development of technology scientists came up with new cures for diseases that were impossible to treat not long ago. Another advantage is that increased

life

expectancy

will make people happier as grandparents would have more time to spend time with their grandchildren and Sheri their

life

experience.

On the other hand

, increased

life

expectancy

may cause overpopulation on Earth and soon a shortage of resources. Taking into account the fact that scientists already announced that freshwater resources will come to an end in the coming decades.

Secondly

, with the increase in

life

expectancy

government will

also

expand the retirement age. What I mean by

this

is that people will still work for the biggest part of their lives. In conclusion, the improvement of medical

care

has both, advantages and disadvantages. Whether the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages, we will find out in the near future. I believe that

such

scientific breakthroughs will definitely benefit the population despite the difficulties.

Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on Tue Aug 29 2023

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion on the topic.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of improved medical care, but the introduction and conclusion could be improved to fully address the task prompt. It's also important to provide specific examples to support the main points and ideas presented in the essay to achieve a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consequences
improved medical care
life expectancy
advantages
disadvantages
healthcare
quality of life
population
economic burden
elderly
dependency
technology
ethical concerns

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one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening. What problems does this situation cause, and what solutions can you suggest?

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. good quality of life. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in the cities. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Most young people without a partner would prefer to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. yet being in a relationship when you are young is not always a good idea. as part of a class project, write about whether you agree or disagree. give reasons for your answer.