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one of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy
Nowadays, the majority of the community feels cheerful about the development of the medical
care
 system and the fact that quality of
life
 and
life
expectancy
 could be improved.
By contrast
, some people are terrified by the fact that improvement in medical
care
 could cause overpopulation and a lack of resources. But there are both positives and negatives of
this
 situation. And ,
lastly
 in
this
 ,essay I will describe both sides and write a conclusion. One of the biggest advantages is that improved medical
care
 would cause an increase in
life
 quality.
For instance
, with the development of technology scientists came up with new cures for diseases that were impossible to treat not long ago. Another advantage is that increased
life
expectancy
 will make people happier as grandparents would have more time to spend time with their grandchildren and Sheri their
life
 experience. 
On the other hand
, increased
life
expectancy
 may cause overpopulation on Earth and soon a shortage of resources. Taking into account the fact that scientists already announced that freshwater resources will come to an end in the coming decades.
Secondly
, with the increase in
life
expectancy
 government will
also
 expand the retirement age. What I mean by
this
 is that people will still work for the biggest part of their lives. In conclusion, the improvement of medical
care
 has both, advantages and disadvantages. Whether the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages, we will find out in the near future. I believe that
such
 scientific breakthroughs will definitely benefit the population despite the difficulties.
Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed in the essay. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion on the topic.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of improved medical care, but the introduction and conclusion could be improved to fully address the task prompt. It's also important to provide specific examples to support the main points and ideas presented in the essay to achieve a higher score.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consequences
  • improved medical care
  • life expectancy
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • healthcare
  • quality of life
  • population
  • economic burden
  • elderly
  • dependency
  • technology
  • ethical concerns
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