IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?

These days, more
people
Use synonyms
 tend to relocate to urban cities for the sake of well-being and
this
Linking Words
 causes residents living in metropolitan cities to face a variety of
problems
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 in their everyday life. The main
problems
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 are environmental
issues
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such
Linking Words
 as pollution and lower income, and we can solve these
issues
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 by promoting the
use
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 of public transportation and by increasing opportunities for jobs with decent salaries. First of all, one of the challenges that
people
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 in urban areas face is environmental
issues
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 like pollution. More and more
people
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 live in condensed places means a wide variety of materials ranging from water to the air can be contaminated, caused by the
use
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 of vehicles to commute, which can lead citizens to suffer from illnesses
such
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 as asthma.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will be more difficult for
people
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 who have fewer skills to achieve a successful career as urbanization allows a large
number
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 of talented
people
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 to predominate the
job
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 markets, leading their
job
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 hunting to become more competitive.
As a result
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,
people
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 who are less talented may get a
job
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 with low remuneration. To solve these
issues
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, there are two aspects that governments can do. One of them is that they can promote the
use
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 of public transportation in their everyday life to go to work.
This
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 can reduce the amount of gas emissions as a whole.
Moreover
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, the other solution is that they can subsidise more money for businesses so that the companies can raise the average amount of salary for employees.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
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 curb the
number
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 of
people
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 who feel distressed because of their low income. In conclusion, the
number
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 of individuals who move to urban areas has been increasing, and
accordingly
Linking Words
, an increasing
number
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 of
problems
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 that they face have occurred. The difficulties of
this
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 phenomenon are that the residents suffer from pollution and they find it challenging to obtain a
job
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 with an adequate amount of remuneration. These
problems
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 can be solved by raising more awareness of
people
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 to make
use
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 of public transportation and by subsidising more financial support to companies in order to raise salaries.

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coherence
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your points.
coherence
Try to connect your ideas with linking words to make your writing flow better.
strength
The introduction clearly states the problems faced in cities and potential solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • metropolis
  • commute
  • public transportation
  • gridlock
  • air pollution
  • noise pollution
  • expensive housing
  • exorbitant prices
  • work-life balance
  • recreation areas
  • parks and gardens
  • criminal activities
  • security measures
  • density
  • neighborhood
  • public amenities
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
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