IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others belive it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification

#university #students #subjects #addition #belive #time #attention #qualification
Many university
students
 have the motivation to add their main subject by learning other
subjects
while
 others think that focusing on studying for a qualification is more important. In spite of the benefits of the latter idea, I believe it is important for
students
 to be able to learn additional
subjects
 which they are interested in. On the one hand, if
students
 can pursue their interest in learning other
subjects
 that they are interested in, it will benefit them by becoming more happy and can result in better scientific research and outputs. There is a common phenomenon where many college
students
 feel that they are choosing the wrong major, but the opportunity to learn about other
subjects
 allows them to choose different academic experiences that could lead to happier
students
. By engaging in a more-preferred subject, it is more likely for them to produce better academic outputs which could benefit a lot of people.
On the other hand
, focusing their time and effort on receiving a qualification can be beneficial for
students
, especially those who are a more career-oriented individual. Because a lot of high-paid jobs usually require applicants to have some qualifications, a lot of
students
 try to require them. By studying more for a certification, university
students
 might be able to get the necessary requirements for their dream job and
therefore
 be paid more. In conclusion,
although
 focusing on studying for a qualification could lead to better-paid graduates, I believe that learning different
subjects
 can be useful for
students
 to be happier and for society through better scientific outputs.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure your main arguments are well-supported with specific examples and case studies where relevant. This strengthens your position and illustrates your point more vividly.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay in a way that every paragraph clearly contributes to your overall argument. Make sure transitions between paragraphs are smooth and logical.
organization
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
clarity
Your ideas are clearly expressed and your argument is easy to follow, which makes your essay comprehensible.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: