IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#aim #science #people #lives
Science
Change noun form
Science's
show examples
 highest goal should be to promote
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
 lives. Does
science
 should even have a goal? Or it is just a sort of way that humanity
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to get through because we can. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I am going to discuss both sides of
this
 matter. It is noteworthy to point out that Human’s creativity
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 them to places which not all of them are even worth searching for.
therefore
Capitalize word
Therefore
show examples
, there are inventions that even destroy human
life
although
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can improve other’s
life
 ironically
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 instance, the atomic bombs that hit Hiroushima and Nakazaki so maybe
instead
 of describing
science
’s aim as a
life
quality
 promoter, the attitude behind it should be
considerated
Correct your spelling
considered
. In
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 eutopia
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
 is fully separated from economic goals, though it’s not true
for example
 health studies
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
supported by cosmetic companies are mostly with
manuliated
Correct your spelling
manipulated
 results. Whilst, academic studies can actually
being
Change the form of the verb
be
show examples
 used as a promotion of lives, meanwhile, there are scientists
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 work
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
 and ambitiously to reach
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
findings that could lead to inventions or methods
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 people can use in daily
life
 or at least help a group of people,
although
 it’s hard to innovate new things,
science
 engine will never stop. It should help people to increase their
life
quality
 and quantity. In summary, Scientific
finding
Fix the agreement mistake
findings
show examples
 are founded
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our knowledge gaps which are exactly the issues that we are facing,
further
 problems decrease our
life
quality
.
Consequently
 solving the issue is increasing
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
life
quality
,
thus
 it can be dangerous if it
Add a missing verb
is felt
show examples
felt
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
 in
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 hands.
Submitted by tarfieipouria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: