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Band 5

Many people believe that healthy eating and the importance of healthy food should be taught in schools. Others say that parents should teach their children about healthy food and diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion with relevant examples.

#people #importance #food #schools #parents #children #diet
It is irrefutable that being healthy and in good shape is crucial to
productive
Add an article
a productive
show examples
 life.
While
 some folks think that educational institutions should teach subjects related to health, others think that it is the
family
Change noun form
family's
show examples
 duty to
educates
Wrong verb form
educate
show examples
 their
children
 about healthy lifestyles. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both of these arguments and state my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
schools
 should teach students about the importance of eating proper
food
 and being healthy.
This
 is because a strong body means
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 mind, and with
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 brain comes great achievements and academic success.
For instance
, athletic students always excel in academic subjects, because they have healthy bodies that aid them in focusing when studying. If
schools
 disregarded health-related subjects, it would cause deterioration in the students' physical and
academical
Replace the word
academic
show examples
 achievement.
On the other hand
, families have a huge burden to discipline their
children
 into healthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
.
This
 is
due to
 the responsibility of both
parents
, as youngsters spend more time in their homes rather than in
schools
.
For instance
,
parents
 should control the diet inside and outside the house,
moreover
, they must prevent the eating of sugary snacks that are considered to be one of the major causes of obesity in teenagers. If the
children
 are allowed to eat whatever they want,
this
 would have
devastating
Add an article
a devastating
show examples
 effect on the
children
's health. In my opinion, both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
 and
schools
 should share in teaching the youth about
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy lifestyle and the importance of avoiding junk
food
 and eating proper
food
 that
benfit
Correct your spelling
benefit
benefits
 the body. In conclusion, having a good mind and body for
children
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 always related to eating good
food
. And it is
shared
Correct article usage
a shared
show examples
 duty between
schools
 and
parents
.
Submitted by islam_biologist on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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