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Band 7.5

Many people aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. What are the causes of this? How to overcome this problem?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
Many individuals strive to achieve a healthy
balance
 between personal and professional lives.
However
, only a small number of
people
 achieve it.
Although
 several reasons contribute to
such
 a problem, there are numerous ways to cope with it.
This
 essay will examine the obstacles to realizing
work-life
balance
 and propose effective solutions. To commence, myriad factors contribute to why
people
 are struggling to meet
work-life
balance
.
Firstly
,
people
 are often too busy with their professional settings, as many occupations, namely doctors, lawyers, or consultants require long hours of work.
Therefore
, these individuals only have limited free
time
 available to do other activities,
such
 as exercising or socializing, neglecting that maintaining well-being is instrumental.
Moreover
, individuals frequently feel that their income is insufficient to secure daily needs
due to
 high living standards.
Hence
,
people
 opt to take on more responsibilities and search for other opportunities, which may cost them a substantial amount of
time
.
Conversely
, despite the obstacles that make
people
 strive to acquire
work-life
balance
, a plethora of actions can overcome them. One pivotal action is to have robust
time
 management skills.
For instance
,
people
 have to efficiently organize and prioritize their daily schedule between work, leisure, and social activities, ensuring that they allocate enough
time
 for personal pursuits.
Additionally
,
people
 can introduce a clear boundary between professional and personal lives.
Such
 a boundary can be established by defining specific employment hours and dividing work-related tasks from personal endeavours. To encapsulate,
while
 an unbalanced
work-life
 dynamic is caused by over-hour working and insufficient income, implementing
time
 management and setting a clear boundary may be the practical solutions. Through these efforts, I believe that
people
 can pave the way for a balanced lifestyle.
Submitted by rasendrya.hafiz on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your argument. This will help in making your points more vivid and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that matches the content of the paragraph, aiding the logical flow.
introduction conclusion present
The essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear thesis statement in the introduction, and it concludes with a nice summary of the main points.
logical structure
The structure of the essay follows a logical progression, making it easy to follow the argument.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported within the essay, offering a balanced examination of both causes and solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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