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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The linear graph describes the average monthly fluctuations in the values of three
materials
Use synonyms
, namely:
copper
Use synonyms
,
nickel
Use synonyms
, and
zinc
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are two general trends:
copper
Use synonyms
 and
nickel
Use synonyms
 showed a decrease in the graph,
however
Linking Words
,
zinc
Use synonyms
 rose gradually over the each month in 2014 by percentages. Looking into more detail, the costs of the
materials
Use synonyms
 decreased dramatically from January to June.
Nickel
Use synonyms
 described mild fluctuations with around 9% changes, which showed more price changes than the two other
materials
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the same element showed its lowest point in June,
along with
Linking Words
 the
copper
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
. Interestingly, each of the prices of
materials
Use synonyms
 showed a steady point between July and September. Afterward,
nickel
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 illustrated a gradual rise in the middle of autumn, but surprisingly, the cost changes of
copper
Use synonyms
 decreased at the same time.
Finally
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of 2014, each element had mild fluctuations between 1 and 2%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words materials, copper, nickel, zinc with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "describes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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