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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Child labour is considered to be one of the most serious problems ob the planet. What are the reasons why children find themselves in child labour and can be done to tackle this issue ?

#child #labour #ob #planet #children
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The
issue
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 of
child
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 labour has mostly been overlooked all these years.
Although
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, with recently rising consideration it has been stated as the biggest worry all around the globe.
This
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 essay will present the drivers and the measures that can be taken to improve the situation. To start off, poverty and no affordable
education
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 are vast reasons why children are often found working. The
issue
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 is mainly noticed in third-world countries where most families find themselves struggling financially.
Hence
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,kids are usually forced to work in order to help out with money. Another notable cause is the lack of access to free quality
education
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.
In other words
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, children work because they have limited possibility to enter free schools.
Moreover
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, seeing a
child
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 try hard studying and gain no success parents decide that it will be more beneficial if they just put the kid to work.
However
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, with no
education
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 or whatsoever future life opportunities for these children are restricted. There are some sustainable solutions to the
issue
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, like reducing school costs and introducing restrictive laws.
Firstly
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, if the prices of
education
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 are abolished,the access and demand will be increased dramatically. As
child
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 labour is most widespread in developing nations,where the rate of poverty is extremely high,schooling is something that people can not afford.
Consequently
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,the action of decreasing
education
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 fees is exceptionally powerful.
Secondly
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,the
issue
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 has to be strictly controlled by the governments.
For instance
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,tracking those who are hiring little ones pressing charges,and legally registering each and every
child
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. In conclusion,there is no doubt that
child
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 labour is something that every person should be fully aware of. Most of all bankruptcy and deficiency in
education
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 that one can actually afford are some of the most serious causes. Cutting prices for tuition and carefully controlling the situation are by far the most impactful coping mechanisms
Submitted by belchicovaa on

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task response
Address the reasons for child labour in more detail and provide specific examples to support the points. Ensure that the solutions provided are directly related to the issues presented.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is generally good, but ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the overall argument. The conclusion could be more conclusive and not merely a summary of main points.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure that the word choices are appropriate for academic writing. Also, provide more specific examples and avoid repetition of ideas.
grammatical range
There are some grammatical errors present, such as agreement and word choice. Also, ensure that the sentence structures are varied and complex enough for the academic level.
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