Some people think individuals are more and more dependent on each other. Some people think individuals are more and more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Since the Enlightenment,
individuals
have been portrayed in public media as beings that continuously intensify their independence
. This
impression seems so solid that nothing can shake it. Nonetheless
, I believe this
kind of independence
is an artificial illusion, which, in fact, is highly reliant on individuals
' reciprocal dependence.
To begin
with, people's dependence on each other now does not manifest itself in the form of immediate cooperation. Rather, it is embodied in the reliance on the products of cooperation, which is precisely why the illusion of independence
has gradually gathered strength. For instance
, we now do not ask for help from strangers when we get lost in a strange city. Instead
, we turn to our iPhones for guidance, which can mislead us into believing that we are more independent. However
, without the cell phone and GPS, which are undoubtedly the products of cooperation, we could not achieve this
kind of 'independence
.'
Moreover
, I am not suggesting that we have not made any progress in independence
compared to before. For example
, there was a long period in both the West and the East when ordinary people were dismissed as merely the possessions of lords, and women were degraded as only the appendages of men. The disappearance of these situations has powerfully demonstrated that individuals
have indeed become more independent.
In summary, I acknowledge that individuals
' independence
has been significantly strengthened over the last
two centuries. However
, we should not exaggerate the extent of this
independence
and thereby ignore the increasingly strong bonds among people.Submitted by hx88375757 on
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views and presenting a clear opinion. To further enhance your response, consider adding a few more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are logically structured and transitions are smooth, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to maintain clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced discussion and clearly presents your opinion, effectively fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your essay is commendable, and the introduction and conclusion successfully frame your arguments.