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Band 6.5

Question It is observed that today communication between family members in today’s times is less as compared to the past. However, some people do not think so. Do you agree or disagree?

#communication #members #today’s #times #people
It is often said that
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 connections among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
intimate families
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 less in relation to the earlier.
However
, others have opposite ideas. I strongly agree with the first opinion and I will argue both perspectives as follows.
To begin
 with, in the past,
people
 lived in tandem in most of the time they did a plethora of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 with the help of each other.
For instance
, when they wanted to construct something
such
 as
house
Add an article
a house
show examples
, other folk
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
contribution
Add an article
a contribution
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 to finish the work.
This
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good communication around them. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
 to
this
, most of the individuals were dependent on one another in the past
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 their jobs were related to other parts of the family. What's more, there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 no indication of the technology and they had to do
many
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
stuff together.
In contrast
,
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
people
Add a missing verb
are engaged
show examples
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
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with
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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humongeous
Correct your spelling
humongous
, and at times not important things, that
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 members of the family
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 miles away from home, so
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the intimate relationship between them.
Furthermore
, with the
advend
Correct your spelling
advent
 of the
technolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
, especially by introducing
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
many
people
 will spend their time
involving
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in trivial videos or other activities on social media.
This
 is the chief reason that makes
people
 be apart in terms of physically and emotionally.
Also
, the hardship of living condition is another reason that cause individuals lives apart from each other engaging with their lifestyles
as a result
 it will
dwingle
Correct your spelling
dwindle
 the
connetion
Correct your spelling
connection
amogst
Correct your spelling
amongst
 them. All things considered, I think the
relashinships
Correct your spelling
relationships
 and connections among
people
 nowadays
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 much less than in the past.
This
 is
due to
 the
introduce
Replace the word
introduction
show examples
 the modern technology and
economical
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
hard
Correct word choice
economic condition
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
Submitted by bakhtiarhassani on

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