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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

#students #attention #school
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It is
unevitable
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inevitable
 that youngsters have a tendency to not focus
asily
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easily
 on their
Use synonyms
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 at
educational
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an educational
the educational
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institution
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institutions
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. There
seems
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seem
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 to be two main explanations stemming from
this
Linking Words
 situation, and the schools and
students
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 need to take some measures against the disturbance when
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 at school. On top of that, the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue is
that
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apply
show examples
the hustle and bustle environment, leading to the
neglective
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neglect of
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study
Use synonyms
 at school. To be more specific, in a
class
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 with at least 40 people in a room, if each person talked a sentence,
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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the
class
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 would be like a market. Following that, most of
Use synonyms
students
Add an article
the students
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are
Verb problem
find it
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 hard to pay attention to the lesson. A
further
Linking Words
 argument is
that
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apply
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the dependence on
friends
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, which means that when they
study
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 with
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
friends
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, they tend to not worry about the assignment which
have
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has
show examples
 to submit to
teacher
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the teacher
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, when they
study
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 alone in their home, they will more concentrate to
efford
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afford
 to solve the homework, in
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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, they will depend on their
friends
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. Turning to the viable solution to
this
Linking Words
matters
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matter
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, an obvious step would
that
Add a missing verb
be that
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 the schools should set strict rules to ensure the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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joining
Wrong verb form
join
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 the
class
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 with a better attitude.
In other words
Linking Words
, teachers set up
rule
Add an article
a rule
show examples
 that
which
Correct pronoun usage
those
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students
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participate
Correct pronoun usage
who participate
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 in the
class
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 actively will have
plus
Add an article
a plus
the plus
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 score, and neglective
students
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 will have
minus
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a minus
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point
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points
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. A second remedy might be related to
improve
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improving
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 the standard of
classroom
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the classroom
a classroom
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,
espectially
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especially
expanding
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by expanding
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 the space and
have
Wrong verb form
having
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more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 single
table
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tables
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,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a table for a student. Following that, it will reduce the lack of concentration in
students
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. In conclusion, it appears to me that
noisy
Correct article usage
a noisy
show examples
 environment and talking to
friends
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 are the main factor behind the disturbance in schools and the
posible sollution
Correct your spelling
possible solution
 would be that
Correct article usage
the school
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should enhance the infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as having
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 spacious and single
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
 for each student.
Submitted by huynhthimylinh3001 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • concentration
  • attention span
  • distractions
  • technology
  • boredom
  • tiredness
  • engagement
  • learning disabilities
  • teaching techniques
  • classroom size
  • family issues
  • health problems
  • motivational strategies
What to do next:
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