In some cultures, older people are valued most highly. In other cultures, youth is valued more than experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion as to which age should be most valued.

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In
few
Correct article usage
a few

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traditions, aged individuals are valued most. In other civilisations, youngsters
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject youngsters. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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valued more than seniors. In upcoming
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In upcoming paragraphs. Consider adding a comma.

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I will discuss
on
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apply

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both views and
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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think it is both equally important. To commence with, respecting elders is an important thing but neglecting younger ages is not good
firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, old ages are rich in experience. People should respect them from the bottom of their heart because they always give them blessings when a person give them respect. They always take responsibility
of
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for

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their children's
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies

It seems that study may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. They pay all their fees from their childhood to their university to make them
success
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successful

The word success doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in life. They do not
fake
Correct your spelling
take

The word fake doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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care of their child.
In addition
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to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they
always
Add a missing verb
are always

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ready to protect their child from any problem. To explain, A father died to protect his
10 year old
Add a hyphen
10-year-old

It appears that 10 year old is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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child from
crocodile
Correct article usage
a crocodile

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in
bengal
Change the capitalization
Bengal

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.
On the other hand
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, Respecting youngsters are
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

very important because they are already stressed with their studies and job problem. Sometimes they are emotionally broken
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their relationships and they don't have anyone to talk
.
Change preposition
to.

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Other people should know the feelings of
yougsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters

If you don’t want yougsters to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and give them courage. They want someone to share their feelings. To elaborate, a survey conducted in
japan
Capitalize word
Japan

The word japan should be capitalized in this context.

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in which 70 youngsters per day died just because they were scolded by their parents. They
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

want to
get
Verb problem
be

There may be a verb use issue here.

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respected by others.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can be restated that respecting elders is necessary but respecting
the
Correct article usage
apply

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young individuals cannot be neglected.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • experience
  • historical context
  • traditional knowledge
  • custodians of culture
  • societal values
  • historical narratives
  • contributions to society
  • long-term perspective
  • energy
  • innovation
  • adaptable
  • driving societal change
  • embracing new ideas
  • economic factors
  • thriving economy
  • productivity
  • physical vitality
  • investing
  • continuous progress
  • advancement
  • social reform
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