IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Homelessness is increasing in many major cities around the world. What do you think are the main causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

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Economic problems continue to exist around the world despite technological development. In a significant number of the urban population globally,
homelessness
Use synonyms
 is growing .
This
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 essay will explain the major reason for
this
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 issue and provide some solutions. The main cause of
homelessness
Use synonyms
 is the rising cost of accommodation which increases with the large cities' growing population.
For Instance
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, in Australia, the popular city of education is the cause of many international students moving from their home countries to study and live there.
As a result
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, the demand for rental homes is even greater. One solution could be for the
government
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 to provide housing support,
such
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 as building housing owned by the
government
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 but there is a collection of rent
that is
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 not too profitable or from having housing tax concessions for those with incomes below the threshold.
In addition
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, Unemployment is the increasing application of technology and the automation of general jobs.
For example
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, many factories began to reduce the number of people using technology to reduce the cost of taking care of employees. To solve
this
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 problem, the
government
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 should have policies that promote employment or should give benefits to companies with high employment rates.
Moreover
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, mental health and substance abuse contribute significantly to
homelessness
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.
For Instance
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, addiction can lead to unemployment and strained relationships which is a major cause of mental health problems. One solution could be for the
government
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 to have drug control measures. In conclusion, The rising issue of
homelessness
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 is connected to housing shortages, unemployment, and addiction. It is important to encourage
homelessness
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 to have work opportunities and the
government
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 should have measures to provide control and support.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a more focused introduction that directly addresses the essay question and includes a clear thesis statement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear connection between each main point and the overall argument of the essay, and make sure that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and employ more precise and varied expressions to convey ideas effectively. Avoid repetition of words or phrases.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure variety, ensure subject-verb agreement, and use punctuation accurately to enhance the clarity of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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