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Band 5

Most people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #care
Nowadays there are a lot of environmental problems in the world and not so many
people
 would care for those. I couldn’t agree with
this
 and think that
people
 are getting more considerate about the
environment
. In
this
 essay, we will discuss whether it’s true or not. Unfortunately, there are still
people
 seen on the street that throw
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
show examples
 and I think that the main reason for
this
 is bad parenting. You can see so many
people
 who wouldn’t care about the
environment
 and it’s mostly because their parents were like that. As elders, who raise children have the biggest influence on them.
On the other hand
, there are social influencers that have a lot of followers and some of them share videos of helping the
environment
for example
 picking up
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
show examples
 in the woods or putting off fire which others had left on. But mostly they inform individuals about things that can put the place
we
Rephrase
where we
show examples
 live, in danger. Another strong source of knowledge is school. As kids, the teachers have so much influence on us. there are programs that instruct about ways to avoid throwing
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
show examples
 around us. They can teach about the effects that some small pieces of plastic can have when they are left in nature or even on the streets. In conclusion, I think there are
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
there are all these role models around us and in a few
generations
Add a comma
generations,
show examples
people
 will be more considerate of their
environment
. Of all the mentioned effects, I guess parents have the most influence on the future of our
environment
.
Submitted by tarfieipouria on

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task response
Your essay provides a balanced argument, but the position is not explicitly stated in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that you clearly present the main points in the introduction and summarize the key points in the conclusion.
lexical resource
You use a wide range of vocabulary, but some expressions are imprecise and could be better contextualized. Consider using more precise and appropriate vocabulary to enhance the quality of the essay.
grammatical range
There is a reasonable range of structures used, but work on using a more sophisticated and precise range of sentence structures. Be mindful of subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve grammatical accuracy.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • immediate needs
  • connect with
  • distant
  • abstract
  • economic considerations
  • growing awareness
  • active participation
  • initiatives
  • movements
  • impacts
  • well-being
What to do next:
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