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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.
#show #magazines #person #five #countries #sales #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart gives information on the
number
Use synonyms
 of
sales
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 per person conducted for
magazines
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 in 5 different nations in 2000, and 2010, and projections of future
magazines
Use synonyms
 that will be sold in 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Country
Use synonyms
 B has the highest
magazine
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sales
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 compared to other countries with its peak in 2000
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest
number
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 of
magazines
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 were sold in
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country
Capitalize word
Country
show examples
 E in the same year. Countries A, B, and C saw a decline in
sales
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Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 and are projected to continue
this
Linking Words
 trend in 2020,
however
Linking Words
,
country
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 D witnessed a jump and
country
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 E fluctuated over the period. Starting off with the nations that their
number
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 of
magazine
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sales
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 lowered over the period.
Country
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 B, which has the highest
number
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 of
magazine
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sales
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 in the whole period, began at 50 in 2000 and dropped to roughly 47 in 2010. 44 is the
number
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 of
magazines
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 per person
that is
Linking Words
 predicted to be sold in 2020.
Country
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 A and
country
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 C experienced a similar trend: A started in 49 in 2000 and reduced to 43 in 2010, and C started in 37 in 2000 and fell to 34 in 2010. Both of these states are projected to experience 37 and 32 in 2020, respectively. Turning to countries with different trends,
country
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 D saw an increase in
magazine
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sales
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 (circa 18 in 2000 into 20 in 2010) and is predicted to reach approximately 23 in 2020.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 E registered a climb in the
number
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 of
sales
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 from roughly 5 to 7 in 2010.
However
Linking Words
, their figures are supposed to decrease in 2020 to around 6.
Submitted by sajadtorab on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, sales, magazines, country, magazine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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