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Band 6

Some children spend hours evryday on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you this is a positive or negative development?

#children #hours #evryday #smartphones #case #development
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Nowadays, there is no denying that adolescents
use
Use synonyms
 their mobile phones for a long period of
time
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 on a daily basis.
This
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 trend is phenomenal in many countries around the world.
This
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 behaviour contributes to many negative impacts on both the
children
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 and societies, as I will discuss in
this
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 following essay. The tendency of youngsters
using
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to use
show examples
 more smartphones may stem from the feasibility of obtaining the devices since phone companies are making cheaper, varied, and more attractive communication products,
as well as
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 broader coverage of internet connections. We can see that
children
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 are allowed to own cell phones at younger ages, and sometimes their phone usage is not properly supervised by their guardians. Many times teenagers stay up very late at night playing online games, watching series, or chatting with their friends.
This
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 not only affects the younger generation but
also
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 the communities. There are numerous drawbacks
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, spending too much
time
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 on mobile phones worsens
children
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's physical and mental health.
This
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 is observed in many schoolchildren who experience chronic eye strain, poor attention span, and obesity
due to
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 a lack of outdoor activities.
Secondly
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, being online for too long can deprive
children
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 of the
time
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 that they should normally
use
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 for studying.
Lastly
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, the young may be exposed to uncensored
contents
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content
show examples
 that can lead to problematic behaviours, including pornography, bullying, and violence.
To sum up
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, an increasing number of
children
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is
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are
show examples
 spending too much
time
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 on their smartphones and I strongly believe that
this
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 affects them negatively in multiple ways. Parents, schools, and governments have to come up with strategies to control and guide our younger generation to
use
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this
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 technology appropriately,
as well as
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 make online society safer for them to
use
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mookdarat.s on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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