What distinguishes young people from their parents' or grandparents' generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, and too little time being active. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that today’s younger generation tends to spend more time on non-physical activities

such

Linking Words

as playing computer games and just watching TV at home, resulting in being less active than the generation of their parents or grandparents. I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement because it has become easier for the youth to access athletic facilities with a cheaper

membership

Use synonyms

fee and because social

media

Use synonyms

has been playing an important role in raising their awareness of their health.

To begin

Linking Words

with, nowadays, we can see a large number of athletic facilities

such

Linking Words

as gyms in our neighbourhood.

This

Linking Words

can contribute to easier access to those kinds of institutions.

In addition

Linking Words

, compared to the 1900s, a monthly

membership

Use synonyms

fee on average has become more reasonable.

For example

Linking Words

, in Japan, the number of people aged from 20 to 30 who obtained a gym

membership

Use synonyms

has increased dramatically with about a 30% increase over a period of 50 years after there was an increase in the number of gyms and a decrease in the amount of payment for

membership

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, technological development

such

Linking Words

as social

media

Use synonyms

significantly affected the younger generation in terms of motivation.

This

Linking Words

is because the progress in technology allows us to get stimulated more readily and effectively.

According to

Linking Words

a public opinion poll conducted by the Japanese government in 2020, a majority of the youth tend to get easily influenced by their favourite influencers, resulting in starting an exercise like the people

Change preposition

show examples

social

media

Use synonyms

do in the hope of becoming an ideal body shape or appearance like them. In conclusion, there is an argument saying that these days, few adolescents participate in athletic activities compared to people in the past

due to

Linking Words

technological development.

However

Linking Words

, I totally disagree with the viewpoint because of the increase in sports facilities and because of more opportunities to get motivated by their favourite figures on social

media

Use synonyms

ryoji779

Jun 6, 2025

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Task Response

Your introduction is clear and states your position well. However, try to make your thesis statement more specific about the points you will discuss.

Task Response

Some ideas are well explained, but others could use more detail. Make sure to develop all points clearly to strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your paragraphs are generally well organized, but improving the linking phrases between ideas can enhance flow. Use words like 'firstly,' 'in addition,' or 'finally' to help connect your ideas.

Task Response

Ensure that all examples are directly relevant and add value to your argument. More specific statistics or examples would make your points stronger.

Task Response

You have a clear position throughout the essay, which makes your argument easy to follow. This is a strong point.

Task Response

The examples provided, particularly regarding gym membership increases, are relevant and illustrate your point well.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
leisure activities
digital technology
urban living
academic pressure
distractions
tech-savvy
exercise-oriented apps
fitness and health awareness
gym workouts
cycling
yoga
inactive lifestyles
generational differences

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