What distinguishes young people from their parents' or grandparents' generation is a lack of physical exercise. Today's generation are spending far too long playing computer games, chatting aimlessly on social networking sites or simply watching TV, and too little time being active. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that today’s younger generation tends to spend more time on non-physical activities
such
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as playing computer games and just watching TV at home, resulting in being less active than their parents’ or grandparents’ generation. I strongly disagree with
this
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statement, because easier access to technological devices has given younger individuals more
motivation
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towards exercising, and because social media has been playing an important role in raising their awareness of their health.
To begin
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with, nowadays, you can see a large number of teenagers listening to music via their phones and music players
while
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jogging or walking in their city.
This
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is because doing exercise outside is considered something fun rather than torture for the youth, which can motivate them to become more active. Some statistics show that 75% of residents aged between 15 and 30 years old incorporate exercise into their everyday routines, explaining that listening to their favourite songs stimulates their
motivation
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to stay active.
Moreover
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, technological development,
such
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as social media, significantly affected the younger generation in terms of
motivation
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.
This
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is because the progress in technology allows us to get stimulated more readily and effectively.
According to
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a public opinion poll conducted by the Japanese government in 2020, a majority of the youth tended to get easily influenced by their
favorite
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favourite
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influencers, resulting in starting
working
Wrong verb form
to work
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out in the hope of achieving an ideal body shape or appearance like them. In conclusion, there is an argument saying that these days, few adolescents participate in athletic activities compared to people in the past
due to
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technological development.
However
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, I totally disagree with the viewpoint because of the
motivation
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caused by favourite music through technological devices and because of more opportunities to get stimulated by their favourite figures on social media.

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task response
Your introduction clearly states your disagreement, which is good. However, try to add a brief explanation of why you believe this is true in a more specific way.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point that ties back to your thesis. You could benefit from clearer topic sentences to help the reader understand each point's purpose.
task response
While you have relevant examples, consider making your examples more specific or trying to connect them more closely to your main argument. This will strengthen your points.
task response
You have a clear opinion in your introduction and well-presented arguments in your body paragraphs. Good job!
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • leisure activities
  • digital technology
  • urban living
  • academic pressure
  • distractions
  • tech-savvy
  • exercise-oriented apps
  • fitness and health awareness
  • gym workouts
  • cycling
  • yoga
  • inactive lifestyles
  • generational differences
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