Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

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It is certainly true that some
parents
buy their offspring a lot of
toys
to play with. There are certain pros and cons to
this
related issue and I have given my justifications below. One primary advantage is that the children create their own imaginary world with the huge amounts of
toys
they have.
This
is because when
parents
get them a large number of
toys
, especially good
toys
that include riddles and puzzles, the kids will ponder and think more about how to solve those games.
As a result
,
this
improves their thinking skills and
also
benefits cognitive development. It will
also
lead to diverse interests at
such
a young life and reduce their boredom for longer periods of time. Having multiple
toys
will
also
lead to a better relationship with their siblings and friends as they would understand the meaning of sharing and helping each other to solve complex puzzles. Unfortunately,
parents
all around the world get way too many
toys
that aren't really helpful to their children.
This
leads to a disorganized living space as it gets hard to manage so many
toys
.
Furthermore
, kids playing with
such
toys
are more prone to limited imagination and obtain very less communication skills.
As a consequence
, they start becoming more aggravated at
such
a young stage in life.
Due to
the great amount of
toys
they have, they would play for a few days and throw them in the garbage or ignore them and always be in
a
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constant demand for new
toys
.
As a result
, they will lack appreciation.
Moreover
, it could lead to a decrease in attention span.
This
is because the
toys
could be highly distractable when they are doing something important. In conclusion,
parents
should buy a limited number of
toys
that would actually help their children
instead
of spoiling them.
Submitted by ahv on

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task achievement
Work on ensuring that each idea is clearly and fully developed. For instance, provide more detailed examples to support your points about cognitive development and organizational challenges.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of the essay. Use more linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear response to the task and covers both advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that frame the essay well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stimulate creativity
  • imagination
  • fine and gross motor skills
  • hand-eye coordination
  • overwhelmed
  • focus
  • value
  • appreciation
  • neglect
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • meaningful activities
  • interactions
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