IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

private sports club. Write a letter to the manager of the sports club. In your letter, introduce yourself say why are you interested in this sports club ask some questions about the club e.g facilities, membership, costs etc. Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

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Dear Sir or Madam, I trust you are doing well. The purpose of
this
Linking Words
 letter is to express my interest
for
Change preposition
in
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 joining your sports club. Myself Ruchin Patel, and I have recently moved in the neighbourhood of the Bay Area.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, I am currently working at Apple as a Design Engineer.
Eversince
Correct your spelling
Ever since
 I have relocated to
this
Linking Words
 new neighbourhood, I have been looking for a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 centre
that is
Linking Words
 suitable for my needs. And, I have got to know that your place
have
Change the verb form
has
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 many cutting-edge
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 which might be useful to me.
Besides
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 that, outdoor activities
such
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 as
swimming
Correct article usage
the swimming
show examples
 pool
as well as
Linking Words
Bedminton
Correct your spelling
Badminton
 are best suitable for me as I would love to spend some time outside as well.
Although
Linking Words
, your website has
comprensive
Correct your spelling
comprehensive
 information about different memberships,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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I was not able to find
enrolment
Correct article usage
the enrolment
show examples
 form to
sign-up
Correct your spelling
sign up
show examples
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, please confirm if your facility has a private shower room for members. Thank you for your help. Yours
faithfullly
Correct your spelling
faithfully
, Ruchin Patel

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your paragraphs so that each one deals with a single idea or related ideas. This will make your letter easier to follow.
Task Achievement
Consider providing a bit more information about why the facilities meet your needs specifically to enhance the completeness of your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The letter has a clear and polite greeting and closing, which is suitable for a formal or semi-formal letter.
Task Achievement
The letter covers the required points: introduction, interest in the club, and questions clearly.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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