The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main fitures and make comparisons where relevant

#changes #place #west #park #school #construction #information #fitures #comparisons

The diagram gives data about the alterations of West Park Secondary School

since

Change preposition

from

show examples

its first condition in 1950 to the latest condition in 2010.

Overall

, It is an obvious fact that the playground and the main road

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

retained

while

some buildings were constructed in three various years.

According to

the diagram, in comparison between 1950 and 1980, the most eye-catching change was that houses were taken down to build

car

Correct article usage

a car

show examples

park area and science block of

school

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

building.

Moreover

, in 1980, another striking modification was

sports

Correct article usage

the sports

show examples

field that was constructed

instead

of farmland next to

playground

Add an article

the playground

a playground

show examples

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

year, the main road

was remained

Change to the active voice

remained

show examples

the same.

In addition

comparison

Correct article usage

a comparison

show examples

between 1980 and 2010 years was taken into consideration, the most eye-catching modification was car park area was enlarged

while

sports

Correct article usage

the sports

show examples

field was diminished.

Furthermore

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

road, playground field, the buildings of

school

Correct article usage

the school

show examples

and

science

Correct article usage

the science

show examples

block were retained in 2010 too.

Submitted by ismayilovemin530 on Sun Sep 03 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

151 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagram shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main fitures and make comparisons where relevant

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places and learn about their culture. We can learn as much as from books, film and television. To what extent do you agree or disagree