One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

Nowadays, the improving medical

system

leads to longer lifespans and increasing life expectancy.

While

some

people

doubt the drawbacks of the development, I believe it is a blessing rather than a curse. On the one hand, a better medical

system

extends

people

's lives. Compared to a few decades before, humans can live longer now.

However

, a longer lifespan leads to several problems.

Firstly

, the population of elder citizens will increase and the proportion of retired

people

will become larger. The nation might face

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

difficulties

such

as a lack of labour population and the cost of the economic increase.

Moreover

, the funding for the younger generation will meet the potential decline since the government needs more money to take care of the elderly.

However

, these not something that cannot be solved. The government plays a vital role in setting up a complete social welfare

system

which benefits every age group.

On the other hand

, most of the elderly hold a great passion to devote themselves to the

society

. It is worth noticing that there is a large proportion of volunteers are elder

people

. They are willing to spend most of their time on charities after their retirement. From hospitals to museums, these kinds of volunteers chain the whole

society

together.

Furthermore

, because of the improving medical

system

, the elderly can now remain healthy bodies and provide support to their families. Most of the grandparents back the parents up by helping to take care of their grandchildren and the households.

In other words

, the elderly are not only someone who help run

society

but

also

our cherished family members. On the whole, the

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

society

brings several concerns but because of the positive impact which was brought

from

Change preposition

show examples

the elderlies, I indicate that the advantages of the improving medical

system

outweigh the disadvantages.

Consequently

, the development makes our future completely bright.

Submitted by BeckyJ on Mon Sep 04 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many countries, small shops are closing. Give your reasons about this. Is it positive or negative? Give examples from your knowledge and experience.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or dis agree with this.

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

In many countries, people throw away a lot of food from restaurants and shops. Why do you think people waste food in this way? What can be done to reduce the amount of food thrown away?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?