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Band 4

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods Discuss both views and your own opinion.

#gym #methods
Whether going to the
gym
 or doing other methods is the best
way
 to stay is
highly
Add an article
a highly
show examples
 debatable discussion point. I contend that
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 is a place that can help
people
 to stay fit,
improve
Correct word choice
and improve
show examples
 their mental
health
, despite those who believe that the other methods can
also
 be
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
 effective
way
 for anyone that
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
 to
losing
Change the verb
lose
show examples
 weight and stay fit. It must be understood that
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 is one of the most useful places for
people
 to have a healthy lifestyle. It should be self-evident that
gym
Fix the agreement mistake
gyms
show examples
 have the specific
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 and the trainers that can help
people
 to do exercises in the right
way
. There
also
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progams
Correct your spelling
programs
 and
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
 come from the trainer to help
people
 achieve their
goal
Fix the agreement mistake
goals
show examples
 in their mental
health
. By
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
following
these
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
advises
Replace the word
advice
show examples
,
people
 not only lose weight,
stay
Correct word choice
and stay
show examples
 fit, but
also
 improve their
health
.
However
, there are a part of
people
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
 that going to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 is not only
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 effective
way
 to stay fit,
there
Correct word choice
but there
show examples
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 many different methods for anyone to keep fit.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 argue that
said
Verb problem
apply
show examples
doing yoga, ballet or doing exercise at home
are cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 less money and
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 effective
instead
 of
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
.
This
 is a credible point, but doing yoga and ballet need more
patient
Replace the word
patience
show examples
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace of mind to do, doing exercise alone at home is even less effective because the exercise
people
 do can be wrong or not suitable for their current
health
.
Consequently
, it can cost
people
 more time and money than going to the
gym
 but will not bring any achievement.
While
 critics argue that going to the
gym
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not the most effective
way
 to stay fit, proponents including myself emphasize the
significant
Replace the word
significance
show examples
 of
gym
Add an article
the gym
a gym
show examples
 in
social
Add an article
the social
show examples
 and daily life of
people
.
Therefore
, it should have been shown that the rate of sickness in
people
 have been
reduce
Change the verb form
reducing
reduced
show examples
 since
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
 appeared
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
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