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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many feel that going to the gym is the best way to stay fit. Others think there are more effective methods Discuss both views and your own opinion.

#gym #methods
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Whether going to the
gym
Use synonyms
 or doing other methods is the best
way
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 to stay is a highly debatable discussion point. I contend that the
gym
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 is a place that can help
people
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to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stay fit and improve their mental
health
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, despite those who believe that the other methods can
also
Linking Words
 be a more effective
way
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 for anyone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 wants to lose weight and stay fit. It must be understood that the
gym
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 is one of the most useful places for
people
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 to have a healthy lifestyle. It should be self-evident that gyms have the specific type of equipment and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trainers that can help
people
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 to do exercises in the right
way
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. There
also
Linking Words
 have the programs and advice
come
Correct pronoun usage
that come
show examples
 from the trainer to help
people
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 achieve their goals in their mental
health
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. By
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
following
these advice
Change the determiner
this advice
show examples
,
people
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 not only lose weight and stay fit, but
also
Linking Words
 improve their
health
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.
However
Linking Words
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a part of
people
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 who think that going to the
gym
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 is not only an effective
way
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 to stay fit
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but there are
also
Linking Words
 many different methods for anyone to keep fit. They argue that doing yoga, ballet or
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise at home costs less money and is more effective
instead
Linking Words
 of the
gym
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.
This
Linking Words
 is a credible point, but doing yoga and ballet
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 more patience and the peace of mind to do,
doing
Capitalize word
Doing
show examples
 exercise alone at home is even less effective because the exercise
people
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 do can be wrong or not suitable for their current
health
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.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it can cost
people
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 more time and money than going to the
gym
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 but will not bring any achievement.
While
Linking Words
 critics argue that going to the
gym
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 is not the most effective
way
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 to stay fit, proponents including myself emphasize the significance of the
gym
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 in the social and daily life of
people
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it should have been shown that the rate of sickness in
people
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 have been
Correct your spelling
reduced
reducee
Correct your spelling
reduced
 since the
gym
Use synonyms
 appeared
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical well-being
  • prime option
  • structured exercise routines
  • professional equipment
  • fostering an environment
  • motivation and discipline
  • counter-argument
  • outdoor activities
  • home workouts
  • cost-effectiveness
  • social and emotional satisfaction
  • team sports
  • hybrid approach
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive benefits
What to do next:
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