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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

What do you think are the strengths and weakness of the education system in your country. Use your own experience to support your idea.

In recent times,
education
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 has apparent impact on student's lives.
Whereas
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, the
Pakistan
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education
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system
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 has
strengths
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 and weaknesses. In
this
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 essay, I will expatiate on both aspects in the following upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are innumerate
strengths
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 that benefit society as the schools and the universities of
Pakistan
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 motivate and foster
students
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 to become good citizens of the community.
Furthermore
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, the government give tremendous facilities like stipends and distributes free books and uniforms in the preliminary institutions.
For instance
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,
Pakistan
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 has primary
education
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 free in underdeveloped areas and for those who cannot afford it,
also
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 emphasises girls'
education
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 more than boys, as it reduces the literacy rate in the country.
Moreover
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, open digital libraries around the country to promote digital learning and the use of computers becomes easy. So,
students
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 develop
this
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 skill as it is a prerequisite to the most lucrative job opportunities.
Consequently
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, the
students
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 can combat confidently in the competitive world.
On the other hand
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, the
strengths
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 of
Pakistan
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's
education
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system
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 are evident, but the drawbacks are too hard to ignore. By addressing the root cause of academic
system
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 weakness. The top-notch concrete reason behind
this
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 is the competitive environment.
As a result
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,
students
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 feel pressure and some can not handle it which causes mental illness and depression.
In addition
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, the other factor to take into consideration is the sparsity of art and sports activities as teachers and parents think that it has no future
while
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 these have a life worth living. All in all, I reiterate that
Pakistan
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's
education
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system
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 has a plethora of
strengths
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 that impact
students
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 in a positive way, but it has some drawbacks which detrimental to the country's
students
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. I firmly believe that the
strengths
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 of the
system
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 surpass the weaknesses for the same.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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