Many think in today's world it is very difficult for people to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Others, However, feel that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
At present time, maintaining a healthy life is found to be more challenging for people.
Although
it is very easy to do it when we devote ourselves and strive to do it.
When we decide to lead a healthy life ,we are in a state to overcome and face the hurdles produced in this
modern time.The foremost problem we need to overcome is our sloth .In order to boost our lethargy, we have TV,airconditioner etc.So becoming lazy was something that happened not only because of the environment around us but also
because of our desire to be comfortable without doing any workout.For example
,we normally want to rest after work or after coming from the office and also
from school or college.Relaxing is not a problem until we limit ourselves, but we do not have those limits and then
keep on postponing our workouts or any other activities to make us healthy.Watching TV under an airconditioned surrounding with some drinks and snacks makes us unhealthy and get addicted to that drug ,which fuels an unhealthy life.In my opinion , sloth and the factors fueling it were the hurdle.
However
, when we finally
have the resolve to commence healthy behaviour,we can achieve it. Beginning with an early wake-up ,we start a fresh morning from there.After ,that we can do yoga or workouts to make us feel good . Followed by having a balanced diet with a treat weekly once to their ownselves can make their body strong.Since we overcame our supineness it is possible for people to become strong and make healthy behaviour.In my opinion , we had poor behaviour because of sloth and our desire to make ourselves strong .
To conclude
,when we destroy the supineness inside us and then
maintain a robust way of living .We can become mighty and have a healthy routine.Submitted by insighttribez on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a series of points but lacks clear, logical mechanisms to link them together efficiently. Consider using cohesive devices such as conjunctive adverbs or transition phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but are not fully developed. They require clear and concise thesis statements and summaries of the main points to effectively guide the reader through the content of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should center around a single main idea with corresponding supporting details. Aim to develop your paragraphs fully by including explanations, evidence, or examples that directly support your main points.
task achievement
Your essay marginally addresses the prompt, but it falls short of providing a complete response to the task. Ensure that you address all parts of the question, providing a balanced discussion of both views along with a clearly stated personal opinion.
task achievement
The essay presents ideas which could be considered relevant but they lack depth and clarity. Aim to articulate your views in a more precise and comprehensive manner. Use specific examples and detailed explanations to support your points and opinions.
task achievement
In aiming to provide relevant examples, your essay offers generalized statements instead of specific, concrete examples that illustrate your points. Integrate real-world examples or hypothetical scenarios that directly relate to the topic to strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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