IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#developments
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Nowadays, scientific
developments
Use synonyms
 in farming benefit society largely from numerous different aspects.
Although
Linking Words
 there are some concerns, I believe the advantages of the development outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, scientific agricultural approaches lead to several safety concerns. After the boosting
developments
Use synonyms
 in technology, all fields of industry changed their old running systems and agriculture is no exception. Many farmers introduced scientific agricultural approaches to their farms.
For example
Linking Words
, they use pesticides to kill pests and insects in order to avoid their plantation being damaged.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the proportion of the use of genetically modified foods is increasing. Many people doubt that pesticides and genetically modified foods (GMF) will harm human bodies.
However
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, in my opinion, the government plays a vital role in protecting citizens’ health. The authorities should set up a regular basis to manage the use of the pesticide and GMF.
On the other hand
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, the
developments
Use synonyms
 in agriculture are not a bad thing. The development improved the whole agricultural system. Farmers are capable of planting tremendous amounts of
food
Use synonyms
 in a more efficient and accurate way.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the invention of new scientific agricultural approaches
such
Linking Words
 as pesticides and genetically modified foods fixed the problem of
food
Use synonyms
 shortage and hunger.
Although
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 overusing might harm human bodies, a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 amount of pesticide will not risk people’s health and avoid
food
Use synonyms
 waste and grow the outcome of
food
Use synonyms
. What is more, the invention of genetically modified
food
Use synonyms
 fixed the problem of
food
Use synonyms
 shortage. GMF grows faster and tastier than others
while
Linking Words
 being tastier and more nutritious. On the whole, some people doubt the drawbacks that will be brought from scientific
developments
Use synonyms
 in agriculture.
However
Linking Words
, they are not something that cannot be solved.
In addition
Linking Words
, because the development leads to countless benefits, I indicate that it is a blessing rather than a curse.
Submitted by BeckyJ on

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task response
Your essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of scientific developments in farming, and also provides relevant examples to support your points. However, make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the ideas are logically organized. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and use transition words to link your ideas more effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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