Some people believe that children should be involved in making their school\'s rules. Others say that only adults should make the school\'s rules. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A commonly held view is that
children
should participate in the
process
of establishing school regulations. Yet, there remains a contentious debate, as critics tend to believe that
adults
should be the sole decision-makers.
This
essay will analyze both viewpoints and present my perspective on the matter. The benefits associated with involving students in the rule-making
process
are many; the most significant one is that it fosters a sense of accountability and responsibility among them. To put it another way, when
children
are a part of the formulation, they are more likely to comply with the rules, leading to a more harmonious environment in the schools.
Moreover
,
children
have a profound understanding of ongoing issues that
adults
might overlook. Participation of younger students would surely bring these matters up and resolve them.
For instance
, a study by Harvard University revealed that,
while
asking for
children
's opinions on the rule-making
process
, more than two-thirds of the scholars pointed
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
issues with which educational systems and
adults
were not familiar.
Therefore
, their profound and fresh knowledge would surely help them create a better place to study. Contrarily,
adults
typically possess a more profound expertise regarding educational systems, which equips them to address multifaceted school-related challenges and formulate guidelines that consider a wide range of outcomes.
For example
, parents, teachers, and administrators understand the diverse needs of the younger population and can create rules that ensure fairness and safety for all individuals;
hence
leading to more efficient and pragmatic regulations that
children
, in their limited experience, might overlook. To recapitulate,
although
I contend that
adults
should predominantly direct the rule-making
process
due to
their acquired knowledge and expertise, it remains essential to encourage young learners to contribute, which would
consequently
empower them to advocate for themselves and their peers effectively.
Submitted by asr.rajni2001 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Although logical structure is good, consider using more varied linking phrases within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
When discussing the viewpoints, occasionally come back to the main point of the essay to remind the reader of the key argument. This will enhance coherence and help the essay flow better.
task achievement
Expand slightly on the explanation and implications of involving children in rule-making, perhaps including more examples or hypothetical scenarios to better illustrate your points.
task achievement
Provide a stronger conclusion that not only summarizes your arguments but also extends beyond the points made, perhaps suggesting future implications or wider impacts.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and comprehensive introduction that outlines both viewpoints and states the writer's perspective.
task achievement
The argument is well-developed and supported by relevant and specific examples, enhancing credibility.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure with clear main points and supporting details, making it easy to follow the argument.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs are clearly organized with distinct ideas and supporting details, ensuring coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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