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Band 5

government should spend more money on education than on recreations and sports do you agree or disagree.

#government #money #education #recreations #sports
Education
 is more important for all
people
.
Correct your spelling
Then
then
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 the reactiation and sports .I totally agree with
this
 topic and I will discuss the topic.
To begin
 with ,these days ,
education
 is
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
show examples
 service in the world. because all
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 depend on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
.
Correct your spelling
such
such
 as
Constructions
Fix the agreement mistake
Construction
show examples
,medicine, health ,food and others
works
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
government
 should spend more
money
 on
education
 . Which is
very
Add an article
the very
a very
show examples
 important thing .Because
government
 should
established
Change the verb form
establish
show examples
 new schools for children .In my country
education
system
 is free for all
students
.
that
Capitalize word
That
show examples
 is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 opportunity for all
students
 .Next ,some
students
 don't have
spent
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
education
.
Correct your spelling
whereas
whereas
free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
education
system
 is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 opportunity for
students
 .
although
 all
students
 go to school
as well as
government
 should spend more
money
 on
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
In addition
 ,study is very important for
recreations
Fix the agreement mistake
recreation
show examples
 and sports
.because
Correct your spelling
because
 all
people
 should learn sports .
Then the
Rephrase
The
show examples
 first significant reason is learning .Another thing ,recreation is creating on
education
 .where as the most of the
people
 are learning some subject ,
then
 they are creating innovations and recreations. In conclusion , I believe that all
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
depends on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
.because
Correct your spelling
because
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
 is very important for all
people
.
Correct your spelling
Then
then
 I will
have discussed
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and second
paragraph
Fix the agreement mistake
paragraphs
show examples
education
 is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 important and very expensive thing
.theyarefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should spend more
money
 for the study because if
government
 spend more
money
 for the
education
then
 increasing knowledgeable
people
 in our world
as well as
education
 level is spread in our countries .
Submitted by heshanij9 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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