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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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It is a common belief that
people
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 these days get themselves a lot of options.
However
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, I partly agree with
this
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 idea since multiple
choices
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 are only available to the wealthy,
whereas
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 they are limited to the poor and uneducated.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 who live in a well-off family or have a stable financial background tend to have more
choices
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 in their lives.
As a result
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, they would have the chance to access a well-rounded education,
therefore
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, a wide variety of opportunities are waiting for them in the future.
For example
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, various students who are able to learn and graduate from universities tend to easily find a job compared to someone who does not enrol .
Moreover
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, it is evident that wealthy
people
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 often have a lot of connections and nepotism is what brings them a lot of
choices
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.
On the contrary
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,
people
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 who strive to make a living or are uneducated seem to have fewer options in everything. The lack of money and education
consequently
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 brings them to a passive situation in which finding manual labour jobs is the only option.
For instance
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, there are many cases of young
people
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 who quit learning in order to find a manual labour job to support their family financially.
Hence
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,
this
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 situation causes a lack of higher education which ultimately inhibits their development in the future.
To sum up
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, how many
choices
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 a person has depends on his financial and educational background.
While
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 the wealthy have a list of options, the poor seem to be on the opposite. For these reasons, I partially agree with the previously stated notion that
people
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 these days have too many
choices
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.

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Task Achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question asked. It's critical to discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree throughout your essay, not just at the beginning or end.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs, ensuring a smoother flow of your essay. This adds to the clarity and cohesion of your argument.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. This adds weight to your argument and makes your essay more persuasive and informative.
Positive Highlight
Your essay presents a well-structured argument contrasting choices available to people based on their socioeconomic status.
Positive Highlight
You effectively use comparisons to illustrate your points, which adds depth to your argument.
Positive Highlight
You've made a thoughtful conclusion that encapsulates your key points and reflects on the initial statement, adding closure to your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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