Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is frequently argued that physical well-being is crucial for achievements in

sports

However

, there is a more persuasive opinion that mental health is much more essential. Personally, I suppose that being spiritually strong has a positive influence on athletes' performances. In

this

essay, I will shed light on both aspects and express my approval. On the one hand, physical strength is the primary factor leading to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

achievements in the

sports

industry. First and foremost, the main purpose of

sports

competitions is to identify the most skilled and strongest competitors. Athletes who participate in games need to have great endurance and fitness in order to have dominant performances among candidates. What is more, there are various

sports

that merely call on pure strength,

such

as running.

Therefore

, mental health does not play a considerable role in these

sports

For instance

, many Vietnamese football players have trouble dealing with taller and stronger players from other countries.

On the other hand

, sportsmen need to be strong in mind for numerous reasons.

Initially

, self-awareness may be a determined aspect. By believing in themselves and their abilities, contestants are able to remain confident during the contests.

Furthermore

, competitors usually have to face failures or challenges,

being

Correct word choice

and being

show examples

able to tackle psychological problems helps them establish a sense of persistence in their journey.

For example

sportsperson

Fix the agreement mistake

sportspersons

show examples

who are free from mental illnesses are capable of overcoming criticism from the masses to gain their goals. In conclusion, both spiritual and corporal wellness are vital for a player.

Nevertheless

, I reckon that by combining tough strength with mental balance, a competitor may easily express their potential abilities.

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coherence cohesion

You should aim to present a more coherent structure by logically organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, making sure each has a central idea that is expanded with supporting details.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. It is critical for the introduction to outline the main points that will be discussed, and for the conclusion to summarize the discussion and restate your opinion.

coherence cohesion

Develop your main points by providing more specific examples and evidence. Abstract assertions need to be supported with concrete illustrations to make your argument more compelling.

task achievement

It is essential to fully address all parts of the task to achieve a higher score for task achievement. You should spend an equal amount of the essay discussing both views and provide a clear opinion throughout, not just in the conclusion.

task achievement

For a high score in task achievement, your ideas should be clear and comprehensive. Providing an in-depth exploration of the topic, by considering the implications, comparisons, and complexities of each view, will enhance the quality of your response.

task achievement

Incorporate relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While some examples were given, they could be further elaborated upon to more effectively back up your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical conditioning
athleticism
physical training
muscle strength
mental resilience
psychological preparedness
mental toughness
confidence
precision
focus
mental strategies
mental fortitude
brute strength

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Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

Some countries have implemented mandatory community service programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this for young people?

Nowadays computer education is compulsory for learners in most schools. Do you think it is necessary or will children acquire these skills naturally from their day interaction with technology everywhere? Discuss both and give your opinion.