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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries around the world, life expectancy is increasing. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people live longer than ever before in a great deal of nations in the world, and
as a result
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, there has been an issue of life expectancy.
Although
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 there are pros and cons to
this
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 situation, I believe that the drawbacks of
this
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 have more impact on our lives than the benefits as I explain. To start with, one of the upsides to
this
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 phenomenon is that there will be more opportunities for conveying traditional culture to younger generations,
thus
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 positively attributing to the preservation of culture. To illustrate
this
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, actually, in some countries
such
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 as Hong Kong, where English is more commonplace and used in everyday life, the national language Cantonese has been spoken regardless of the existence of English.
This
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 is because Hong Kong is one of the most populated nations with the elderly who can conserve Cantonese by predominantly using it even for younger people, resulting in maintaining their culture even in
this
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 period.
However
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,
this
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 benefit can be considered less important when the population of elderly
residents
Use synonyms
 grows. Turning to the downsides to
this
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 situation, having more older citizens means that there will be a need for younger
residents
Use synonyms
 to hold a lot of challenges
such
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 as an increase in their taxes and taking care of the elderly.
This
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 can contribute to the prevention of the younger from saving their incomes for the future because those kinds of burdens on them are bound to become
such
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 a burden.
According to
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 the NHK News broadcast in 2020, 90% of the
residents
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 living in Japan were struggling with saving their remuneration for future expenses
such
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 as housing and leaving their parents’ places.
This
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 can not only discourage them from pursuing their dreams but
also
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 potentially reduce the childbirth rate as a whole, which might be caused by a thought that they would not want to have a child, worrying about a huge amount of expenditure on child-rearing.
To sum up
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, the increasing number of
residents
Use synonyms
 worldwide who are living longer than in the past has been an international problem. Even though
this
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 issue has both positive and negative aspects, I think that the downsides are more significant than the upsides as the number of children who will be born in the future could be a serious problem in many countries.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects closely to your thesis.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, especially in the body paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Add clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs to help the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion stated in your introduction, which helps guide the reader on your stance.
task achievement
The discussion of cultural preservation is a unique point that adds depth to your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • demographics
  • societal development
  • healthcare system
  • pension funds
  • multigenerational
  • workforce
  • economic sustainability
  • intergenerational inequality
  • longevity
  • proactive policy
  • geriatrics
  • senior citizens
  • ageing population
  • fertility rates
  • dependency ratio
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