Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #sport #role #society #leisure #activity

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Nowadays when

people

discuss

this

topic, they are often divided into two main groups. First society believes that activity with physical movement is the most important role that usually needs to be done.

On the contrary

, another group argues that sport is just an option for their free time. In the essay, I will elucidate both viewpoints in more detail and offer my personal opinions.

To begin

with, numerous

people

will strongly assume that doing

sports

is required. There are many advantages to athletics.

For instance

, when someone wants to build up a good body appearance or keep away from heart and muscle problems, advising them to exercise is probably the best recommendation.

Moreover

, many

sports

need to be played as a group, so

this

type of activity can connect

people

to create a network.

On the other hand

, a large number of

people

from another point of view would rather spend their holiday in many individual activities

instead

of the sport.

For example

, playing the music, watching the movie and painting artwork on their own.

As a result

, There is a requirement for some

sports

that need a lot of

people

unless we can not play, so sometimes it is not easy to select a date

that is

suitable for everyone. In conclusion, both perspectives have their own reason to support. It's not wrong or right. In my opinion, we live in a city full of many different activities,

thus

sports

is just an option for

people

to choose from.

Furthermore

instead

of selecting the same thing every weekend why don't we try on something new?

Submitted by nine318 on Wed Sep 06 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure is weak and lacks coherence.

task achievement

The essay lacks a comprehensive and clear response to the task, and the specific examples are not particularly relevant.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

national unity
physical health
mental health
social change
gender equality
social integration
disadvantaged communities
cultural barriers
escapism
commercialization
viewership
merchandise sales
inclusivity
accessibility
nationalistic fervor
racism
marginalization

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