IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people are working at home rather than work places. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families but other suggest it will cause stress in the home rather than work place. Discuss both views and give opinion

In the modern era, remote working has become increasingly popular, with many organizations offering
employees
Use synonyms
 the flexibility to choose where they
work
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some believe that working from home offers numerous benefits for
employees
Use synonyms
 and their families, others argue that it can lead to increased stress. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives before offering my own opinion. On one hand, remote
work
Use synonyms
 offers
employees
Use synonyms
 the opportunity to save time, especially for those with families.
This
Linking Words
 flexibility allows workers to better balance their professional and personal lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by eliminating the need for commuting,
employees
Use synonyms
 can reduce both stress and expenses, ultimately leading to increased productivity.
Additionally
Linking Words
, remote
work
Use synonyms
 can offer a more comfortable and personal
work
Use synonyms
 environment, which can be conducive to improved mental health. Employers,
however
Linking Words
, must remain vigilant about their
employees
Use synonyms
' well-being and should foster an environment where workers feel supported and connected,
thus
Linking Words
 preventing feelings of isolation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals find it difficult to separate
work
Use synonyms
 from home life, which can result in inefficiency and burnout. Without clear boundaries, it becomes challenging to "switch off" from
work
Use synonyms
, and individuals may find themselves working longer hours.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lack of face-to-face interaction with colleagues can contribute to loneliness and negatively impact mental health. Despite the ability to connect via the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, real-time conversations provide a richer experience, allowing for better communication and stronger personal connections. In conclusion, both working from home and the office offer distinct advantages and challenges. Remote
work
Use synonyms
 allows for better
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and cost savings,
while
Linking Words
 in-office
work
Use synonyms
 promotes social interaction and can boost productivity. Ultimately, the choice between the two depends on individual preferences, priorities, and the nature of the
work
Use synonyms
 involved.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively covers both views on remote work, which is great. Make sure to deepen your examples to better support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a good introduction, body, and conclusion. However, try to make the connections between ideas a bit clearer to improve flow.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your intention to discuss both views.
coherence and cohesion
You have used appropriate paragraphs for different ideas, making your points easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • benefits
  • workers
  • family
  • stress
  • home
  • place
  • flexibility
  • schedules
  • balance
  • commute
  • productivity
  • isolation
  • life
  • responsibilities
  • interaction
  • colleagues
  • loneliness
  • mental health
  • increase
  • reduce
What to do next:
Look at other essays: