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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.

The two pie charts compare the different sources on which children charity in the USA had spend and received money in the year 2016.
#two #sources #children #charity #usa #money #year
The two given charts provide a comprehensive comparison of the proportion of revenue
sources
 and expenditures on children's charities in 2016.
Overall
, it is evident that there was
remaining
Add an article
a remaining
the remaining
show examples
 fund of charity's
invesment
Correct your spelling
investment
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of 2016. Donated food had the highest percentage of fund
sources
while
 the majority of investment was spent in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of program services. Upon
further
 observation, the organizations obtained around
above
Rephrase
apply
show examples
85% of
donation
Fix the agreement mistake
donations
show examples
 in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
.
In addition
,
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, the second highest of capital
sources
, took apart around 10,4% in helping children who
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 poor
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. The other four items
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the least proportion of money
sources
 which accounted for less than
2,5
Correct your spelling
2.5
%. Turning to the other remaining data, program services (95,8%) dominated the way
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the children's charity spent the donation.
Furthermore
,
fundrasing
Correct your spelling
fundraising
 and
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
management and general experienced the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 proportion of charity organization expenses which accounted for 2,6% and 1,6% respectively.
Submitted by zia_ardhi on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • charitable organization
  • non-profit sector
  • financial allocation
  • philanthropy
  • government subsidies
  • individual contributors
  • fundraising activities
  • expenditure breakdown
  • financial transparency
  • budgetary constraints
  • donor base
  • revenue streams
  • fiscal responsibility
  • overheads
  • sustainability
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