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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #account #punishment
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A large portion of the population holds the view that certain crimes should carry more severe penalties than
others
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,
while
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others
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 argue that the context and intent of a
crime
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 should always be taken into account when determining a suitable response. In my opinion, each of these possibilities has advantages that strengthen the legal system and contribute to public safety. On one hand, a fixed punishment has several positive outcomes.
First,
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having a predetermined penalty for a specific type of
crime
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 might serve as a deterrent to
others
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 and serve as an example to
others
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 who might consider engaging in illegal activity.
As a result
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, the
crime
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 rate goes down, bringing peace and security to the area, and the government has an easier time exerting its authority over the country.
On the other hand
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, unintended circumstances,
such
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 as self-defence, frequently lead to the commission of a
crime
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.
While
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 it's apparent that all wrongdoers should face consequences for their actions, there are times when a man must take potentially dangerous measures to safeguard his human rights.
To conclude
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, consequences are established not merely to deter bad actors and maintain peace and order, but
also
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 to shield the community's good citizens.
Therefore
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, consistent punishment is a useful instrument for the legal system to secure its inhabitants;
nevertheless
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, it is suggested that the context of each
crime
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 and the motivation of the offender be considered as well.
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task response
Overall, your essay provides a good response to the task prompt by addressing both views and presenting a clear opinion. It is important to ensure that each paragraph is focused on a specific aspect of the topic to maintain coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs addressing the two views, and a conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph is linked to the preceding and following ones through the use of cohesive devices such as transitions and linking words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fixed punishments
  • consistency
  • predictability
  • deter crime
  • potential offenders
  • streamline
  • judicial process
  • bias
  • corruption
  • complexity
  • human behavior
  • circumstances
  • justice system
  • intent
  • remorse
  • socio-economic background
  • rehabilitate offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • flexible punishment systems
  • inconsistencies
  • perceived injustices
  • public trust
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