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Writing Samples
Band 9

some people think that it would be better for large companies to move to regional areas outside large urban centres. Do you think the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

#people #companies #move #areas #centres #outweight
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It has been debated that most of the entrepreneurs are supposed to relocate their organization to urban
instead
 of being located in the main city. In my opinion, I think it depends on their situation.
Firstly
, several businesses, SMEs
in particular
, that are located in the main city have not had an opportunity to move to the urban from the various problems, To illustrate
further
, they don’t have resources enough because the moving needs to spend an amount of money and time,
moreover
, a number of employees who want to generate a sustainable income in their professional life to enhance their family's well-being are not able to change their locate leading to lack of workers in the future.
Furthermore
, some companies are responsible for changing their suppliers because the shipments in the downtown are not suitable for someone causing more expenditure
as well as
 the profit to decrease.
On the other hand
, despite its difficulty and more expenditure, most of the NGOs that want to improve the earth require that every company are supposed to relocate because, should businesses move to other places,
this
 will raise the demand for employment.
Besides
, it is able to improve the civilization in these places,
For example
, employers in the downtown who are hired in the old industries have an opportunity to find the new industries that are appropriate for their professional life.
In addition
, when urban areas have more infrastructure from investing either the company or the government leads to civilization.
To conclude
. It has both advantages and disadvantages.
This
 is the responsibility of the CEO to decide whether they should move downtown or not.
Submitted by amittawin on

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task achievement
Continue to enrich your essays with relevant examples to support your points, as this strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion are present to guide the reader through your essay, which you've done splendidly.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance the fluency of your writing further, consider varying your sentence structures and incorporating a wider range of linking words.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, evaluating both advantages and disadvantages thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
You've managed to maintain logical structure throughout the essay, which aids in reader comprehension.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your main viewpoints, providing a clear roadmap for readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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