It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subject what are the causes? What will be its effect society?
It is true that nowadays not many young learners consider
science
as an interesting subject to study. While
some possible reasons are easily identified, the need to understand its impact on society should be taken into serious consideration.
Three main causes are plausible for this
decline in the field of science
in our current generation. Firstly
, there are not enough lessons or experiments which can build up the inspiration for the young kids at school and the teachers are only providing the theoretical information to the students
which results in the fallen numbers of science
-focused students
. Secondly
, the government is inactive in providing funding for laboratories and facilities to national and local schools where they are most necessary. Thirdly
, the curriculum for each school attendants may be very heavy consisting of nearly five to seven subjects to join each week, this
can be the inevitable reason for students
to choose which major is less difficult to attend then
they can have enough time to finish all the classes.
In terms of the effects on society of this
tendency, it is clear that
when fewer children choose to learn science
and fewer of them are keen on understanding it, the fewer chances for us to have outstanding scientists
in the future which may result in the fall of technology development. Furthermore
, in the case of that scenario, the economy may have been impacted significantly when there is
no improvement in the evolution of the scientific field. Wrong verb form
was
For example
, the scientists
who do research on how to improve the quality and growing time of paddy or rice can lead to the breaking invention of new genes which have a short growing time with disease-proof characteristics and it will be considered to bring enormous changes to the economy. In addition
, medical or pharmaceutical industries are in noticeable demand for scientists
to contribute to the new research and introduction of new life-saving vaccinations which will be dramatically affected if there are not enough students
who choose to study and become scientists
in the near future.
In conclusion, when the reasons for the decrease in learning science
of the next generation and also
its considerable effects on the community have been deeply taken into notice, measurable solutions may be adopted to tackle this
phenomenon.Submitted by yennhicao24 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay introduces and concludes the topic effectively, demonstrating clear coherence. However, the introduction could be enhanced by providing a more nuanced overview of why the decline in science students is troubling.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, yet transitions between ideas could be smoother to improve the flow of the essay. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Most of the main points are supported, but the arguments would benefit from more varied and detailed examples to demonstrate the points made. Aim to include a range of specific, relevant examples to underpin each point.
task achievement
The response to the task is complete, yet it would be beneficial to explore the reasons and effects with more depth, perhaps by differentiating between short-term and long-term impacts on society.
task achievement
Ideas are clear and relatively comprehensive, but could be further elaborated. Aim to fully expand on ideas before moving to the next point, thus ensuring that each is thoroughly explored.
task achievement
Examples provided are relevant but somewhat generic. Including more specific, real-world examples that directly relate to the causes and effects discussed would improve the response.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example